11/11/06
www.penumbraldreams.blogspot.com
11/11/06 03:10
11/11/06
10/11/06
leeyang says:
hoho since yihong doesn't blog lately i shall manipulate his blog and revive it. today hc soccer had a friendly in nj. being an honorary member of the team since i was bribed into joining by my captain, i grudgingly trudged to nj in the wee hours of 845. i could have slept until 10 ok. then i brought my new ball which is the super nice-to-kick teamgeist. i wanted the gold and silver one la but too ex. anyway my captain has horrible designs on me, she's trying to make me actually play a position in the team. can't i be team manager. and anyway i'm very happy because the team has 12 people now.
we had alot of fun walking in the sun into nj and checking out the potholey muddy field. after reluctantly changing into our boots, and i was freaking out internally because my captain had terrible plans for me for the match, we went into the field for some warmups. and yihong and peckboon came. anyway the match today was quite ok, abit short, 3 rounds of 10 minutes with 1 minute break between rounds. yea. our ankles positively sunk into the mud and we had mud spa for our feet while we did our drills. after moving to another patch of grass, we had nice time kicking the ball around. all this while, we started to freak out as a team while watching nj girls train. but then soc girls are happy girls and we don't get pressured easily.
after having loads of fun playing soccer monkey, it was 940 and yihong was cajoled and begged into being the referee by his soccer friend and my captain. i tried resorting to underhand means for him to give allowance for hc, but being the unwavering upright njcian, yihong was terribly staid and concerned about uplifting the joga bonito belief of playing fair hoho. kidding la, i have good morals ok.
anyway we drew 2-2 with nj. quite a good match, hc has quite strong striking but our defense fell through rather easily. and the nj soc guys were shouting away and i started to go giddy. but being a responsible teammate, i was cheering for my teammates and my captain who was happily kicking and sloshing around in the mud. it was a great game and i again tried to bribe yihong between rounds. all this time, the mud on my socks and jersey from the warmup earlier started to dry and it was gross. so i had to unroll my socks and walk around like an idiot.
funness. after that went to wash my ball and yihong started complaining about how lousy girls are and how they should be banned from soccering. so stupid MCP. after yihong made fun of jolitoh, we went to nj for lunch and the food was quite good and the macaroni stall auntie complimented me on my gold blingbling wallet and said it was very pretty about 8 times. she wants to buy one like it and due to my aggressive promotion about how durable and pretty the wallet is, and how only daring and cool people dare to carry gold sequinned wallets around, she's going to rush down to JEC to buy one too. HAHA.
ok that's it i'm very tired. i shall wait for yihong to come online. tata.
10/11/06 14:33
10/11/06
30/10/06
had an op fiesta 2dae. first to sch for op dry run. got damn demoralised cos dhik's grp's op is damn pro waaaaa feel so zi bei haha.
den to my hse for op rehearsal of our own. along the way back yanjun decided to b funny n crack my security code n my clever little N6280 LOCKED ME OUT GRRRR. fones are getting too clever now.
then back to sch for stage band rehearsals. OMG la so damn hard, the songs were. and our syf piece is godlike, joe blew his trumpet till he was red in the face.
and my marimba part is imba. try playing a piece with as many semiquavers as there are hairs in mou's nose.
anw joli broke her leg. sorta broke anw i dun think its tt bad. when we say break a leg for promos, we dun mean it tt way.
FINAL DIRE WARNING TO ALL S18ers TO BRING $10 TO S18 CHALET.
30/10/06 15:55
30/10/06
24/10/06
Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're big, you're tough, you won't back down from a fight, you have a bit of a temper -- classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.
You were almost a: Duck or a
PonyYou are least like a: Chipmunk or a
GroundhogWhat Cute Animal Are You?
24/10/06 14:45
24/10/06
23/10/06
yeahs im here to wipe virtual dust off my blog.
so i got promoted. whee. wif grades like mine i doubt im gg to last thru next year. hoping i wont get into the OGL program so tt i can have more time to myself too.
haha FUFC got 2nd place in vive la joga tourney. considering we onky had weihong as the only sports-cca person....im damn proud we made it so far. we rock =)
s18 chalet is on 1-3 november....this is the final dire warning to all s18ers to try to make it haha.
im not gg to play online games on the com anymore....theres a million things out there i'd rather b spending my time on. so stop trying to get me to play dota.
and OP is kinda screwed. i lost my confidence awhile ago so my speech sounds deflated as opposed to grand and inspiring heh. guess i'll hafta smoke my way thru the dry run.
tmr gg to vivo n lan haha im damn tired la rar gg to slp before 1am for once. nites~!
23/10/06 15:54
23/10/06
18/10/06
2dae was sian.
lost my hp.
GAHHHHH.
>,< learning how to deal again.
pain isnt transient, it's just because u've gone numb.
for awhile.
18/10/06 16:11
18/10/06
14/10/06
sighs im mega tired. what i did today:
1) play chess. alot of it. 14 games from 9-3. my brain is feeling mushy n clouded.
2) band performance. quite ok la. negative feedback is that i blasted the timpani till super harsh. the positive feedback is tt i din screw up. improvement =)
3)movie date. me u n dupree rocked while it lasted lol.
slept at 2 am last nite woke at 6 2dae! TIRED!
14/10/06 16:12
14/10/06
12/10/06
leeyang says:
so annoying, yihong doesn't blog often right. yihong is a fatass kdrama addict who is watching goong. i bet he's sobbing quietly when he watches that show. and his blog entries are always so depressing. WE NEED SOME SUNSHINE CANDY AND JOY PEOPLE!
12/10/06 12:50
12/10/06
11/10/06
still in blue mood. gamesfest's flopped ignis match still not out of my head. wonder why i even bothered playing soccer anymore.
ytd pw was a waste of time.....spent like 3 hours arguing. over stupid, minor details. if u wanna pick a fight don't drag the whole grp into one.
today was a waste of time too. the NS forum was more like grandfather-story-telling session. the Colonel has passion but he din show it. the leftenant had passion but he misdirected it to his relationship. the female major just clamped her mouth shut most of the time. and the host sounded like a ripoff daniel ong impression.
anyway had band practice today. there are so few pple its like the whole woodwinds consists of 5 players. out of the coventional pre-vnite 15. every cca i join suffers.
can't shake the feeling of being hunted. by some semblance of guilt at having to let people down no matter what decision i make. or some semblance of regret at what i did and did not do.
going to apply for OGL so i can make a difference in orientation '07. i have the sinking feeling i'll be in orientation '07 next year anw. my 3 years in nj?
11/10/06 16:40
11/10/06
10/10/06
Your Element Is Fire
|
Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.
You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.
Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.
|
10/10/06 13:13
10/10/06
10/10/06
ya la havent blog in v long la. stupid tagboard sounds so naggish its starting to look like my mom owns cbox.
actually got alot of things happened in the past week. woots i think i went out evry day last week. my savings are 80bucks poorer heh.
Had a crap class outing last....tuesday. was it that recent. it feels like and eternity. more like clique outing haha nvm at least we went somewhere fun instead of being cooped up at home. bowling woot la 2nd game damn hot form. pity my meagre pool skill has gone to hell n isn't coming back.
had a v v v nice date on saturday hahaha. still v high about it =))
rawr solaris B was a flop ytd. lost 3-1 to ignis. knn all 3 goals my bad. im just a pretend goalie. i've never gotten training before in my life can.
yeah im not in thr blogging mood. yet. soon i will. till then chew on the crap in the next entry.
ciao~
10/10/06 13:07
10/10/06
09/10/06
leeyang says:
hoho. aren't you all sick of yihong never ever blogging. well, let me blog and resurrect yihong's blog from the depths of the graves hoho. hmm. yihong needs a new hairhack, his hair (or fur) is getting very long. yihong looks awful in solaris yellow tee and nj red shorts, what a ludicrous colour combination. red so does not flatter his butt. and anyway yihong is so lucky to be getting back his papers late in october and i'm getting them back 1 at a time starting this week and boohoo, i think i'm so going to flop and retain and see you all in 20A13 hoho. what a conundrum. don't you all think yihong has a mutated head. sigh i hope yihong doesnt throttle me with his sock when he sees this. and i found out he always toupai me. and he likes to zipai alot. stupid guy. hoho. oh no i sound very bimbo. and cheezito is very nice hoho. i'm horribly exhausted i need to go and sleep hoho. tata!
09/10/06 13:35
09/10/06
02/10/06
my inferiority is so blindingly obvious its like a stab in the eye.
sigh.
02/10/06 05:56
02/10/06
30/09/06
my mom just oversteamed 4 char siew paus into 4 blackened and crinkled pseudo-rock things. and the char siew sorta exploded out so it looks like the damn things are bleeding.
good grief the stench is choking me.
30/09/06 10:49
30/09/06
30/09/06
feeling quite apathetic now....or numb. or cold.
somewhere there.
did your fire burn out?
maths was painful. knowing all the formulas but not having a chance to use them cos i din noe the method of application sucked.
i needed that hope
don't think im going to be playing dota at home anymore, i'd rather spend more time outside. with leeyang
came down with a bad blocked nose ytd n its just not going away. and it doesnt help that today was so ****ing cold.
so why'd YOU have to take it away
the feeling that things won't turn out right no matter how hard i try just won't go away. the feeling of abandonment wont fade either. nor the sick feeling of wanting to break out of this and change the circumstances but being trapped at home behind a wall of notes. and the dread of 3 more days of this madness. and missing ly.
i hate being abandoned.
which way is up?
left alone when i needed you
30/09/06 10:39
30/09/06
25/09/06
bah what a mugfest. 8 hours a day will be the death of me. my eyes kinda hurt n im running a mild fever. crap....studying is bad for health. or at the very least, bad for me.
leeyang alerted me to an article on rv in the zaobao 2dae. i read the article (propoganda actually), despite it being written in chinese, the bane of most my studying life. it was basically a glowing review of the rv watchphrase "rooted in tradition, equipped for the future". i hope it stays rooted there while the world passes it by.
and my blog music takes like 15mins to load. if u wanna listen to it i suggest bringing along a good book to read.
...
in happier news, as of writing this, 10758 minutes left till end of promos. hang in there. or u cld count down if ur bored to death mugging. as in undead bored.
after promos i resolve to
1) take an archery course
2) get my kayaking 2-star
3) play soccer till my balls drop off and my hands have to be amputated and my legs shrivel up, though not neccesarily in that order.
4) get N3 woooooo~
5) dates. alot of dates. =D
6) dota.
7) play kingdom hearts 2. dis means i have to find a ps2...
8) s18 steamboat!
yeah. there ya go, my reasons for going on rite now.
i start by thinking of think of me. then think about the size of nj. then of singapore. then of asia. then of earth. then of the solar system. then the galaxy. then the universe.
then i come back to me.
even if my world falls down completely, a million billion others will go on.
it wont be the end.
nothing to lose by trying =)
25/09/06 15:57
25/09/06
20/09/06
got lowest in class for a super easy chem test.
damn frustrated.
nothing i do seems to work out.
swear on my pride this'll never happen again.
ever.
20/09/06 14:15
20/09/06
19/09/06
i love this song =)
marion raven--here i am
I'll protect you, don't be scared
No matter what, I will be there
I'll be gentle, I'll be light
These are the words you whispered in the night.
Here I am, here I am
Now I'm standing in the cold
(Everything is said and done)
Atomic winter in my soul
(From the absence of the sun)
The only remedy I know
Is I gotta let you go
So here I am
(Everything is said and done)
Yeah
(From the absence of the sun)
The only remedy I know
Is I gotta let you go
So here I am, here I am
19/09/06 18:44
19/09/06
18/09/06
i dunno why im blogging. im actually quite dead beat by a long day of trying to understand my tutors and then another 4 hours of trying to understand my maths. haha at least dinner was fun =)
time's so short nowadays. everyone's rushing everywhere, rushing everything. everyone's rushing everyone.
saw shi yan again on the bus home 2nite. yeah, the same shi yan from my p6 class. from ac 1st 3 months. we met each other cos we alight at the same stop, but we didn't talk. its somewhat ironically fitting that we avoid each other as much as possible while walking home past our old, darkened school. walking our seperate ways in the shadow of the past. since when did i become so poetic?
christin's blog makes me realise that maybe we're not the only pots out there, if u catch my meaning.
saved $120 so far. Nokia 6280 costs $178 now rite? yeah im getting a new fone.
dhika suggested we go bowling after GP paper this friday to celebrate start of promos. idiotic excuse, but tempting all the same =P. how lon havent i bowled?! 2 months?...time really flies by.
oh yeah and 2dae's KAHYAN'S BDAE. zhiwen loves u, kahyan!! haha.
finished the sickening WR at 1230. its now 1250. 1am sounds like a good time to sleep.
and one last thing. never order crispy fish rice at mad jack's. it sux >.<!! damn dry. sandpaper tastes the same n is alot damn cheaper. haha if u dunno where mad jack's is den u dun hafta worry bout it.
im conking out. ciao, foletta.
18/09/06 16:52
18/09/06
16/09/06
how not to spend your saturday. in chronological order, for the convenience of the aspiring loser.
1. wake up at 1120 to the shrill screaming of, not an alarm clock, but a mother repeatedly calling u a pig (in chinese).
2. have porridge for breakfast >.<
3. mug gravfields tys, getting 3/5 of the mcq questions wrong in the process.
4. hearing persistent clicking sounds, you walk out of your room to check, and discover your father has reinstalled Command and Conquer Generals and is wrapping up the USA campaign.
5. have porridge again for lunch >.<
6. mug 3.5 hours worth of maths in one go, half of the time in a dazed state and the other half in the crushing snare of a headache.
7. have hawker-centre mixed rice for dinner >.<
8. mug MORE maths. graphing techniques send you to the brink of insanity.
9. wrap up mugging for the day (total time: 6 hours) and feel like going online to blog, only to find your dad STILL playing and well on his way thru his 2nd campaign. of the day, no less.
10. instead of going to sleep at 1130, you go back and MUG MORE. hydrocarbons sends you to the brink of delirium.
11. wrap up mugging for the 2nd time of the night at 1230am.
12. laugh hysterically when u realise your dad is finally off the com and snoozing in bed, then laugh somemore when u realise you've just killed time mugging while waiting for your dad to stop a 9-hour gaming spree. you're traumatised that your father is a even more hiong gamer than you are.
13. type a blog entry so evryone can laugh at you while snacking on pringles, the staccato taps of typing on the keyboard complemented nicely by the legato snores drifting into the hall through your retired-engineer-turned-gaming-addict-dad's half-closed bedroom door.
14. smile. life is good =)
jiayou for promos evryone =)
16/09/06 16:54
16/09/06
11/09/06
wtf...lpool lost 3-0.....
just watched the highlights...wtf was reina doing. my goldfish can be a better goalie than him.
haha so the hols have ended and sch's started. somehow nj's not the same anymore. people still laugh and play and joke, sure, but there's a dark undercurrent beneath that. guess study stress really takes the fun out of everything.
i'm desperately bored. even when doing other stuff got the urge/guilt/motivation(?) to go mug. wth. cant wait for promos to be over.
its been 4 years on since 9/11. to me it still feels like a surreal dream, watching CNA broadcast the burning towers. my mom thought it was a pub stunt n refused to believe the tv. not even when the towers collapsed. only nxt day while reading the papers den she started to get shock. heh guess i got my paranoia from mom.
im taking to reading stomp.sg. the talkback is a nice escape from life, into the lives of others.
i learn alot in jc. but nothing i learn is found in any syllabus, in any subject, in any country. life lessons are undervalued.
11/09/06 14:55
11/09/06
07/09/06
fack leh i twisted my right wrist...swelling like a tomato. but considering i played 4 hours of soccer, im lucky i din break a leg.
mrs chak's house is cool! swatch-infested walls and star wars galore. and jaina is such a cute baby. albeit a very very very quiet one...i havent heard her cry or gabble or...anything. was i that quiet when i was 3 months old?
i hope lerxian made it home last nite. its amazingly improbable that out of the 13 cups of chicken curry that we set as forfeits, he ended up drinking 5 cups. i can still taste the chicken from my one and only cup, pfeh.
im saving up for a new fone. can anyone recommend me a model?
and i calculated how long it would take to buy a new com. if im aiming for a $1399 one....
at $10 a week....
140 weeks.
35 months.
about 3 years.
just in time to be rendered obsolete by quad-cores and pentium 6s. charming.
07/09/06 07:52
07/09/06
05/09/06
haha i have a concussion after today's lecture. in the first half an hour it was sweltering. In the last half an hour it was freezing. In between i cant really say for certain cos i was stoning.
had lunch at thai-blardy-noodles. im never eating damn tomyum again--my stomach is super crampy now.
mingxuan found a GRAPE in lt5. *cue the hysteria* lt5, land of boredom, naps, and incomprehension.....now land of grapes too it seems. i found one under my chair too. in true PA spirit we tossed the grapes over our shoulder into the 2mcX class skulking in the backseats of the LT. its raining grapes!
in other news....
peckboon has become a fulltime mugger. except for tmr, hes apparently going gift-hunting. *tkstsk*
mr tsang glared at me today. i wonder if its because ive been consistently bottom-ing the class in maths tests. all year.
mou sprained his upper thigh 'cycling too much'. lame excuse to skip joga, but take care bro =)
today's a bad day for soccer la. so damn wet. i hate rain.
mom won a fruit basket in a teacher's day lucky draw. my dad is super happy that shes so lucky. im like 'wtf'.....in my opinion fruit baskets are only given to the terminally ill, or the mentally unstable. teachers dont fall into either category. or do they?
im outta here. ciao.
05/09/06 05:52
05/09/06
31/08/06
sux my hotmail just got hacked...means msn too. halfway converse den offline den cnot log in...
DISREGARD ANYTHING I SAID/DID/DIN REPLY ON 31ST AUG. like at 12mn tt sort.
sian.
31/08/06 17:42
31/08/06
30/08/06
so its the holidays already. i still detect no perceptible change from the chalet atmosphere in s18. im pretty damn sure its just me being slack(er) than evryone else. as usual. here are my sins for the past 4 days.
1) went out to chooqi's housewarming on sat =) damn nice bbq, damn nice food, damn nice bball court where i can dunk at will, dun even nid to jump. n finally got to play at lanlab, si bei song ah!
2) sunday went out to MUG! with guanhoe only at first, but ended up meeting the whole lerxian gang of cat. high n rv pple. den got damn high mugging. thats a first.
3) monday got fever =((. fark. first time sick in 2006. no more clean sheet liao.
4) tuesday went out to buy tchr's day pressie for mrs chak. teddy bear and huge card--how cliched, but it ain't a competition rite. ended the outing wif pool haha lerxian is pro!
oh man. i dunno why the hell i went sch 2dae. SO DAMN BORING LA. i finished alkanes n isomers while ms aw harped away on kinetics and then stoned my way through GP and slept in econs lecture and lagged in civics.
heh. chalet lifestyle.
im going to fight my way back into the Titans. count on it.
30/08/06 13:56
30/08/06
26/08/06
injured a my left eardrum during band on wed....all of thursday heard this insanely annoying ringing sounds in my left ear. n it worsened on the way home till i cldnt even balance properly. parents thot i was having heat stroke lol.
my ear's injued, but it doesnt stop me from loving this song.
michelle branch-all you wanted
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I'd take you away
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
heh. actually im just lazy to type out a big long story of the sucky+dizzy past 2 days. chew on this for now.
ciao~
26/08/06 03:07
26/08/06
22/08/06
dammit 2dae so damn tired. but floorball really fun tho. we din deserve to lose to those IP pple in the last match. damn ref.
realised that out of all the floorball groups, ours is the only one ithout a single sports-cca member inside. like ming xuan says, our team is the "black horse". or was it dark horse.
suddenly dun feel as stressed anymore, if only for one day, today. perhaps its the kick i get out of sports. but i guess it's also cos the dark cloud of facing a hectic tuesday hanging over my head is momentarily lifted and for now i can breathe and bask in the sunshine.
now onli 3 more days of the week to go. and 5 more weeks to promos. and then OP. and the dark clouds will go away for a while.
what a long road ahead huh?
sux i really hate wednesdays. i hate doing pracs of any sort in the morning and then going for double GP sends my brain into screensaver mode and then a rushed lunch and econs lecture which nv fails to drone me to dreamland. and then band till late grrr.
i think im pbly the least experienced bander around. i even drew flak for playing the bass drum wrongly. dunno why the hell i joined if i already knew i would take forever to catch up wif evryone else.
saw shi yan(is this how her name is spelled...) on the bus tt passed by coro 2dae. i stared at her n she stared and me n we just looked away.
a long long time ago at the start of the year, when i was alot less stressed and alot free-ier, i sat to shi yan in the ac audi during orientation. we even talked then.
but for the rest of my time in ac we daoed each other evrytime we met.
its strange how, suddenly, my past comes back to haunt me. i realise now i left alot behind when i left ac. like....my ac friends and my hopes for shooting and squash and a strange new world that i nv really got to explore.
loss is eternal. i should have gotten used to it.
22/08/06 15:29
22/08/06
20/08/06
This says nothing about my prowess ( or lack of it) in studies, while correctly saying im as happy-go-lucky as hell. how accurate.
What Color Is Your Aura?
We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold. |
 |
20/08/06 14:42
20/08/06
20/08/06
wah sian spent all of sunday at home mugging. or at least, trying to.
in the end only did dynamics and oscillations and kinematics. and stinking maths test revision.
im not even going to do homework anymore. urgh.
promos in 5 wks, and the feeling of not being able to be promoted based on Cts suxxxxx. since that 'high-risk' talk and PTM meeting, parents have been treating me like some failure.
growing more n more sick of each passing hour of each passing day of each passing week.
没有能力去再去相信明天会更好
guess i'll go polish up kine before i sleep. take care people~
20/08/06 14:29
20/08/06
18/08/06
omg suddenly im so busy!
tmr got band! at 930!
then pw meeting! at 230!
then go home mug physics! till some god-forsaken hour of the nite!
then sunday mug for maths lecture test!
and still master integration 3!
OH MAN. I NEED TO BUY ME MORE TIME.
coincidentally, stayed back in school to play risk with chai n bro. till 3pm. the things we do to escape a depressing and stressed-out reality haha.
jiayou=)
18/08/06 14:57
18/08/06
17/08/06
hey guys thanks for all ur tags! really appreciate it alot =D
wah juz finished WR.
actually PW's quite fun, but just not at 2:21am on a friday.
i m so going to collapse in sch tmr.
take care guys =)
17/08/06 18:22
17/08/06
14/08/06
im increasingly getting the feeling no one understands me.
my parents refused to let me borrow my dad's laptop cos apparently they dun trust me to keep it in one piece for one day. no more PW meeting today.
i made the time n i always gave what attention i can muster....and i understand if u cant reciprocate. but i dun understand if u dun accept me for what i am and live with the fact that i can't always be there for u. feeling so suffocated by the dependence and lack of understanding.
really tried to mug 2dae...but kept falling asleep on my WEP notes. the only thing i succesfully did right was tys, and that was a uber slow pace.
feeling quite misunderstood evrywhere i go now...either that or im feeling quite frustrated by the pple i talk to...i guess im hovering on a short fuse and that makes me...volatile?
i fought my way up the rainbow up till here, convinced that the cost of reaching the pot of the gold at it's end would be worth it.
i had alot of chances to turn back, at evry turn, when the cost just kept getting higher and higher, i continued on knowing that i wasnt alone. that someone or someones understand me, and that made the journey a whole lot easier. now theres just me, cos nobody really understands.
i can turn back now...the costs will only go up from here if i continue.
but i'll go on. i set out knowing that the cost would run high. i'll continue on, if for no reason than that the costs have already run so high. but its more that the costs have only convinced me there are some things worth fighting for. or against.
im not giving up.that's a promise
what a sad entry.
take care y'all =)
14/08/06 16:52
14/08/06
12/08/06
wah hengs. i thot my blog was gone for good....ebloggy maintainance for so long wth. i <3 my blog*hugs keyboard*
spent all of national day holidays outside.
on wednesday had joga and lan wif 2a. wah seh lerxian has a pro sniper. n yongsoon has a shit sandking. but pengbo still the worse. 1 kill 16 deaths. feeder bus.
on thursday...shan't tell u guys where i went. heheh.
wah ytd totally rox man. sch was uber relaxed and after sch straight come home n pia my integration2 till i FINISHED IT. DIE INTEGRATION DIE. den went out to ____ wif L__Y___. heheh.
haha i left the cymbals on the congas in band prac 2dae n halfeay thru our prac it dropped off onto the floor and clashed and evryone gt a heart attack. except Mr Conductor, hu took a swipe at my noobishness when it comes to all things band. sry laaaah, still learning can?
wah seh dis week i am left with a grand total of $3 from $120 i took form mum at the start. JTS and then 2a outing and then 2 dates...owwww my poor wallet haha.
oh man i din go for solaris party 2dae. instead came home and MUGGED. omg wats wrong wif me?!
i still cant say i like band.
but i love percussion =)
12/08/06 14:14
12/08/06
08/08/06
haha ndc finally over. solaris won all 3! are we pro or wad
^_^
class outing was quite fun. got seperated like 10000 times along the way to cine. den spent 1.5 hours stoning at some posh hongkee food place..the food damn ex la! all i could afford was one cup of horlicks--$1.20. even the salted egg there was above my budget--$1.50.
after watching perc went to marche-suntec for JTS. haha the seniors really nice la, din eat alot n even offered to pay some of the cost. but being even nicer juniors, we dun accept their subsidy =D
den went down to near the esplanade to watch the fireworks......its quite funny cos evrytime there's this loud 'bang' from the explosions there'll be one parked car that suddenly thinks its being hijacked and its alarm will start honking away.
we've lost whatever sense of normalcy we used to have.
falling apart.
08/08/06 17:00
08/08/06
07/08/06
sighs. 2dae damn sian. kept stoning in lessons...n its not like im v tired or anything. i just cant find interest in the lessons la.
still v worried. wadthehell. cheer up soon gal =)
how stupid. evryone's so busy. evryone's got 'smth on' evrytime.
really thinking of getting a drumset at home. but tt meands saving up alot.
kakeru raised an interesting point. why do we percieve mugging as v unglam n regard muggers as antisocials. being pro in studies is, after all, the whole point of an education.
stereotype. or cant anyone face up to the fact that there r pple who are way more determined/clever/motivated than them.
sighs. im rambling haha.
ciao.
07/08/06 14:42
07/08/06
06/08/06
sighs. down wif fever again =(
muz be cos not enuf slp.
haha joli says the whole world is pmsing this week.
i think she's smack on.
evryone is so depressedthese few days.
can evryone please cheer up and be more enthu!
later still going out to visit grandmum........can i like dun go. seriously i dowanna get nagged at by my entire family to do well for studies evry week of evry month of evry year. its bad enuf being the eldest of the family and the only son.
interview 2dae was fun =) jasper's a nice guy.
im so not going to quit any cca. promise. and im not pissed at my bro for cancelling my duty. my fault i din turn up.
on the edge and in control.
06/08/06 08:41
06/08/06
05/08/06
all my fault again.
05/08/06 11:47
05/08/06
05/08/06
being random.
random facts about my week
-most humber of hours slept: 6 (tuesday)
-most 66s seen in one day: 7 (friday)
-most screwups in one day: 7 (friday)
-most number of hours spent on the computer: 3 (thursday)
-least meals a day: 1 (monday)
-least screwups a day: 2 (tuesday)
-least boring day: tuesday (leeyang tennis and band =D)
-least expenditure: $3.20 ( monday)
being random.
haven't done my 19 chem TYS questions. =(
haven't found a new shoe bag. =(
haven't figured out how to smile. =(
haven't saved up enough for perc JTS. =(
being random.
addicted to drumset. =D
painted solaris banner =D
playing tong hua =D
pizza hut for dinner =D
=) =( being random. =D
05/08/06 11:06
05/08/06
04/08/06
hello i'm like in the art room and im trying to do the econs notes thing which some irresponsible wankers didn't do and now i have to do it. raaaah. zzz i feel very down today and i stoned for the better part of the day and my pw is going on fine and i think we are faking the entire survey and wow, sausages are gross. and anyway the class blog is like disgusting, there are like so many pictures of me in assorted auntie poses. yah lah, auntie lao. i better go do econs now. this computer screen is like huge. i like macs.
--leeyang
04/08/06 06:43
04/08/06
03/08/06
painted solaris banner today. damn stink la now headache le.
fucking pissed. mug from 9 till now and all i've got to show are 7 unsolved integration questions. fuck.
03/08/06 15:37
03/08/06
31/07/06
wahh really damn busy this week. suddenly got every commitment i have popping up to eat chunks of my week away.
just found out this thurs got solaris meeting again....sighs.
and friday got solaris cheering session.
i dun think s18 will even care..
for fuck's sake onli like 11 pple bought the solaris tee.
for fuck's sake no one will even cheer.
damn sad. no wonder pple think nj pple are unenthu and unfun.
and no wonder i agree.
hmmm. got sectionals tmr. chem remedial scrapped suddenly. tho ms aw was too kind..she offered my private tutoring. wadthehell. old tiko T_T
hmmm. apparently news of paris hilton has spread. shermin showed the vnite pics to lien la. dammit. gone le. no more face once the world finds out. i shall become a gong-playing gay. damndamndamn.
at least tmr got tennis. its these small comforts tt keep me afloat.
these, and the false hope tt tmr will b a gd day =)
its a false hope =(
but hope is all i have left. =D
31/07/06 16:48
31/07/06
30/07/06
let me tell you of my 3 days.
friday was a super sian day. band prac was v v stressful cos the songs were super hard n i couldnt keep up with the score at all =(
had a fever on saturday morning, so couldn't make the solaris meeting, sorry guys =(
band vnite was v v malu-ing for me =S had to dress in drag wtf.
but the seniors rock la. its like im so sorry i didn't do the farewell messages v nicely and help wrap the gifts when the seniors made so much time to find and make n wrap the presents for us. n deon is like wadthehell la his wrapping is super cool. its the first time i appreciated the wrapper so much i couldn't bear to rip it off. perc rox.
went to amelia's house today to do PW. haha pia-ed the education package to 75% complete. den played monopoly till 8
-.-"
we always play board games till addict liddat one.
now lemme tell u of my next 3 days.
i shall have PA duties till 8 pm tmr.
i shall have chem remedial till 5, then 'something on' from 5 till whenever we feel like going home.
then i shall excuse myself from PA duty on wed nite to go for band prac and perfect my Mission Impossible mallets. i won't screw up again.
and i resolve i shall no longer be antisocial in band.
count on it.
30/07/06 15:04
30/07/06
27/07/06
what a shit day.
one ridiculous screwup after another.
i din even feel like going for outing.
in the end i just came home.
the sunniest days are always my darkest ones.
27/07/06 12:31
27/07/06
25/07/06
omg i hate the smell of incense. i cant believe people still burn incredible mounds of paper and pollute the air so bad when the world's alrdy screwed up enough as it is just so that they can have some 'divine protection' against whatever strange things may come in the ghost month. i dun geddit. there is a very real problem of global warming and pollution and yet pple do such.....selfish acts... i really dun geddit. at the rate this is going there wont be a ghost month left to fear.
but on the funny side...
came home today to find my room window. first reaction when i smelled my room was omgwtfbbq. the smoke was so cloying and thick i cldnt breathe.
so i sprayed ALOT of addidas deo into the air (out of air freshener lol). like 10 sprays.
then i think the smoke reacted with the deo to form this....mega-powerful yet nice-smelling scent. like the overwhelming choking smell of frangipani. but whatever happened, my room is now filled with a painfully intense deo-smoke hybrid smell. i shall now name it frangipain.
i just reopened the window to let some smoke get in...maybe can neutralise the frangipain.
if my room isnt so smoky tt i cant breathe, its so nice-smelling tt i cant stand it. =.= i wanna find the equilibrium position of the smoke/scent curves!
anyway been suffering form low energy level in school this wk. like cant stop falling asleep in evry lesson.....
no more PAssion le.
25/07/06 13:12
25/07/06
24/07/06
the music's abit loud yeah. lower the volume before ur mom thinks ur speakers have gone into schizophrenic fits.
rarrrr stayed back after sch in the SL to do house meeting for NDC..din noe it would last till 530 haha. for some insane reason stayed back after that to play risk till 745. wadthehell. i must have been insane.
its been a bad day for me at sch la. dunno why im so damn jaded now. should be happy, physics prac today was actually fun. which is akin to saying pigs smell great; physics pracs usually suck like vacuum cleaners.
anyways theres a new solaris blog. go check it out yah.
what is the bad, if not the task of the good.
damn sian~
24/07/06 14:02
24/07/06
23/07/06
i finally get to understand what the Oracle said in the matrix Revolutions.
i've already made my choices. Now i've eventually coming to understand them.
understanding is never easy.
23/07/06 14:56
23/07/06
23/07/06
my dad's very depressed again. he's like a lost soul at home..he wanders the rooms and haunts the hall, as if searching for something. Like he won't rest till he finds whatever he's looking for.
He's searching for acceptance that he's reaching his golden years. He'll never find it in this house. He needs to find it in himself. And he'll never be able to do that if he constantly keeps himself busy to escape from the crushing reality that he's growing old.
i do want to help him. i do want to sit down and talk. but i cant. not if he keeps running away from a reality he fears.
i feel so helpless.
23/07/06 14:30
23/07/06
22/07/06
solaris won racial harmony day =)
our means certainly din justify our ends.
we formed the Anti-Mugger Association in s18...codenamed AMA. we're out to get the Mugger Association (MA), chaired by jinghao and lien. normally mr tiew recieves a graveyard-quality silence in his tutorials...until the AMA started to shout answers from the back row to deny MA of the chance to respond.
After the lesson i realised tt AMA was so enthu in class we effectively became MA, albeit accidentally and unintentionally.
is there really right or wrong.
or are concepts of right and wrong feeble attempts of the painfullt mortal human mind to impose its own rules and standards on a world that doesn't seem to follow any rules at all.
22/07/06 16:57
22/07/06
20/07/06
its been one of my laggiest weeks in term 3. i didin't even have to stay back from monday to wednesday for anything, discounting chem remedial lab. and this coming saturday will be my 1st free saturday in 1 month and 3 weeks. its like a hallelujah feeling...and im not even christian.
community service day was so boring. stoned at the solaris booth for 5 hours cos really din like karaoke singing and anyway old folks scare me and vice versa. we put so much effort into the display..solaris is gonna win=)
i ended my 4-year no-broken-glassware unbroken streak with a double break ytd. In 5 minutes i broke 2 measuring cylinders, one 100ml and one 50ml, boosting the grand total of glassware broken ytd to 4. Including one mercury thermometer tt shuming cracked and din even noe he cracked it. and left the mercury in the sink for me to find. *sighs*
i miss the SAFRA shooting range. i miss shooting. now the closest i can get to air rifles is time crisis 2 and 3 in arcades. but it just doesnt feel the same even though i hit alot more targets with the fake pistol than with real air rifles.
i think the new music is nice =) even though the old one is so melacholy and sweet it gets old after awhile. and its been awhile since i put it there.
during com service on wed...i realised other houses tt i wun name here really overstepped the rules of sportmanship to get teachers to vote for their displays...kop-ing tchrs while they're busy viewing our display isn't fair at all.
or are we just so busy following the unwritten rules of fair play that we just don't have what it takes to win..
when do the ends justify the means. if at all?
wondering~
20/07/06 10:47
20/07/06
19/07/06
blogskin done =D
total time taken: 6 hours 27 mins.
enjoy =)
19/07/06 15:17
19/07/06
17/07/06
my life is well and truly screwed. lets go back a bit to my weekend.
on saturday i had a very very very slack PW meeting with my group. PW is a slack subject, we're a slack group, we get slack meetings. Its like saying cows have udders so they produce milk....a slack subject means a slack time spent on that subject.
sat nite i had a blast at PA steamboat....yibo n kelvin really ate alot...wat a waste of time waiting for them la. after 930 liddat we went to the arcade n me n dhika pumped 5 bucks into virtual cop3. tt was when i was broke too. so i officially owe my bro mingxuan 4 bucks. and i owe amelia 7 bucks for the band seniors pressies. and 14bucks to peck boon the last time he loaned me in june.
instead of coming home today to do my GP VA i went out to pak tor wif ly haha. POTC2 is a dark show...its not the same rarar pirates sort of movie POTC1 was...the mood is definately sinister and brooding, mixed with some comedy and alot of fighting. jack is insane as ever. pity he died. well it was fun while it lasted.
now pia-ing the EoM i told my grp members to do.... actually its due this friday, i'm just being enthu and asking them to bring their drafts by tmr so our group can go through together and share. and maybe ask willa chen to vet our drafts too. obviously i was under the impression i would have plenty of time to do an EoM when i told my grp to do the EoM by tues. it was a bad impression. i have no time =(
at least my VA is done. at least i di my waves tutorial. at least i have PE tmr..actually i have PE today. it is tmr already.
i have a choralefest performance this thursday. no, im not in choir, im in band. but band is playing accompaniment for choir. for one song onli. wat a lame waste of time la. this concert comes after i did PA for Eclectic (angklung and harmoc concert) last week. one week im backstage, the follwing week im on stage. and can evryone stop telling me to take my gong n go sign up for NDP concert band competition. playing the gong is a skill ok! grrrrrr........
btw here's a little nugget of information.
ive thought long and hard, and i realise the 1st sentence anyone and evryone in band says to me is "yihong, where's amelia?"
my reply is always "i don't know..."
usually that 1st sentence is the last sentence too.
heh. pathetic huh?
take care all....promos in 8 weeks time. bleargh.
17/07/06 16:21
17/07/06
13/07/06
im damn tired. PA is really draining. i slept at 2 last nite pia-ing pw interview. I'm pia-ing PW reflections and a group log im making up out of thin air and random whims of thought.
now i really really hate RV...not that i didnt use to, but i convinced myself it wasnt all that bad after all..but now looking back i remember why i hated it, and how stupid it is to look on the bright side of my time there. and probably now i forever will hate the life i led there. thanks a load yibo for twice reminding me what RV made me.
i have a really hectic friday and saturday coming up. im more stressed than ever.
my mom really thinks im overdoing evrything. when i told her im now PW group leader, she lost her temper. maybe i am overdoing things. but when she said, " when did u start to think so highly of urself. u cant lead la!"....i'm really starting to believe she's right. that i'll flop evrything and crash and burn.
but deep down inside, i know nothing could be further from the truth.
i'll push on to show others that they're wrong.
i'll prove to myself i can do it, i will do it, because i don't believe in my limits. only myself.
13/07/06 17:05
13/07/06
12/07/06
i fell asleep in chem prac today. at least i didnt spill anything la. but i did get an acid burn on my arm.
suddenly i'm doing PA all week again, after doing Band all of last week. at least PA got pple to talk cock wif =D
wtf solaris house meeting today was so.........lacking. did anyone even cheer along with the HouseCom pple? does anyone even wanna buy the house pin?
so much for fostering house spirit and emotional bonding.
s18 is singing karaoke wif old folks nxt wednesday! and our humji CIP rep KAHYAN doesnt dare to sing to them -.-"
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE LA.
PA outing this sat =D. right after PW meeting =(. we're predicting woodlands regional library will throw KAHYAN out n ban her from entering ever again after she lets out one of her trademark screams.
Band got a new bandroom already =) no more feeling crushed and oppressed in the dingy old stinking sucky messy bandroom anymore.
i heard RV wun let RVians try for NJIP. like RV sends RVians to counselling if u go for IP interview and test. now thats sick. suddenly i feel anti-RVism is not just hip anymore, its justified.
i feel so tensed up lately, my back muscles are cramped up n stretching doesnt help and i can never relax totally till i've done all my homework and my cca stuff and studied for tests and nothing PW in the way. then i can finally slack.
but then again i can never really clear all my work. so i can nv relax =( i feel like im slogging thru wuicksand evryday.
heh but i think i got it easy already. councillors really have damn shit schedules. i have no right to complain =)
i've already made a list of stuff i wanna do for my end-of-year hols. it remains to be seen if i can make it to the hols.
meeting leeyang on the bus evry morning makes my day =D
i love leeyng lorrhh.
12/07/06 15:44
12/07/06
10/07/06
mingxuan to me:" im turning into a mugger."
me to mingxuan:" *gasp* not u too!"
seriously i nid to start mugging le....9 wks to promos. but i got no mugger aura yet.....even mingxuan got mugger aura le! sian im being slack again. i nid to share mugger aura!
wonder if i cld move in with mingxuan?
10/07/06 14:42
10/07/06
09/07/06
etude31 and etude nite were unforgettable =)
i wish i had someone to talk to in band =(
i wish i had done homework today....the common tests results arent scary enough to motivate me, apparently.
i wish alot of things. but my wishes dont come through anyway.
09/07/06 13:31
09/07/06
06/07/06
真的好累.
撑下去好难.
06/07/06 15:42
06/07/06
03/07/06
i slept at 330 last nite, woke 2dae at 8. pardon me if got typo, im a little.....tired. juz a little bit la, i had ALOT of slp last nite mah.
band 2dae was quite fun =) played alot of cymbals. till hand quite tired, the NIE cymbals damn heavy lar~
tmr got band again. wed n thurs oso got band. so u guess i got wat on friday? for those hu guessed band, so clever sia...
tmr got 4c outing....grrkkkk......alr miss yltc outing 2dae....grrkkk x2.....band looks set to become a full-time attachment.
oh the perc section leader saboh-ed me into doing ballroom dancing for etude. RAWR. I CANT DANCE. the last time i danced the nj dances my fren remarked i looked robotic wtf. not exactly the kind of praise tt makes me wanna learn samba and line dancing eh.
leg damn pain lar.....ytd the malay kids play damn hiong, leg kena whack n ankle bruised. at least better than yak and gabriel lee, ytd went out den 2dae both down wif flu. but not me =) yihong's immunity system never says die! get well soon bros.
support etude =D n buy tix from me. amelia says if i dun sell at least 5 tix by wed conductor HO wun let me perform haha.
03/07/06 14:37
03/07/06
02/07/06
excerpts from utterly pointless msn conversations i just had.
*************************
[[
]] mouxiao.blogspot.com brings you the latest in world cup updates! says:
up to you.
actually i write a template first
then can save lots of time
actually all i have do is write a rejection letter
to shatter thousands of young girls hearts
***************************
[n_utical note] mou-the-testosterone-charged says:
tell me where i shdl go tml
yihong {2A'03}\4C'o5//#s18#[-torn-]<<borne to fight>> birds fly, cats purr, mou flirts says:
jump off a cliff
[n_utical note] mou-the-testosterone-charged says:
WHAT
[[
]] mouxiao.blogspot.com brings you the latest in world cup updates! says:
you should go and die
yihong {2A'03}\4C'o5//#s18#[-torn-]<<borne to fight>> birds fly, cats purr, mou flirts says:
HAHAHA
[n_utical note] mou-the-testosterone-charged says:
WTF
yihong {2A'03}\4C'o5//#s18#[-torn-]<<borne to fight>> birds fly, cats purr, mou flirts says:
AGREE
[[
]] mouxiao.blogspot.com brings you the latest in world cup updates! says:
hahahaha
now i feel better
[n_utical note] mou-the-testosterone-charged says:
-__-
[[
]] mouxiao.blogspot.com brings you the latest in world cup updates! says:
we should stop insulting gab
he has a weak ego
so what are your choices for tomorrow?
geylang and?
02/07/06 15:45
02/07/06
30/06/06
dun b surprised if u dun understand this entry.
debate topics: friendship, lovelife, giving up, and the jedi way vs the 'dark side'.
underlying conclusion: we're too self righteous to properly listen to wat the other is saying.
stuck in our boxes.
'nuff said =) it was a good conversation anw.
30/06/06 15:00
30/06/06
29/06/06
If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?
And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
No
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Try to find out what makes you tick
As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
There's a fine line between love and hate
And I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that
I like that
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Die for anyone
What have I become
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
29/06/06 18:24
29/06/06
29/06/06
hms. spent most of today with 4c guys playing lan playing pool and most importantly talking cock.
i just spent the past 2 hours watching crap shows on the tv. the movie 'john carpenter's ghosts of mars' was especially funny. a man chops his finger off, but is able to go on making grenades out of food cans and firecrackers. the police in the movie all shoot from the hip, and their shotguns have unlimited ammo. the commander dies an ignoble death ad has her head stuck on a pike and put on display. while i was turning the tv off, the plot was trying to incorporate a bunch of WWE-lookalike zombie miners into a mass battle with a motley crew of policemen and criminals, all who somehow formed an alliance against alien ghosts.
now that's convoluted for you.
i realise i haven't wished evryone good luck for their CTs/ blocks/ terms. so i'm saying now : GOOD LUCK and for those who haven't finished yet, jia you! there. now u can't say i don't care about my friends haha.
i have 2 curry puffs and one banana for supper. i have no idea why i'm telling you that.
while im being random, i might as well rant eh?
-i found a nice song! though most decry it as depressing and angry. as leeyang puts it:" angsty depressing rock". but i like it =)
-im feeling very guilty about overspending on my hp bill again. i overspend and my parents pick up the tab. damn.
-me and desmond have just concocted plans to rob his council seniors tmr so he has money to spend on jts. steal from the rich, to feed the rich. thus marginal social benefit ( the seniors are fed) is marginal social cost (desmond goes to jail).
-jinghao's msn nick is "how hard can pool be? you look, aim and shoot. no kick at all". given that i thrashed his skinny ass at pool today, i'd expect more humility. like " i suck at pool. its not my fault, its really hard and my cue stick was ben and the table wasn't perfectly rectangular and the aircon was far too cold....etc".
-the weather has been very hot lately. that's my latest excuse to stay up to ungodly hours--so the temperature goes down to 26 deg and i can sleep without aircon. and im proud of the fact i haven't used the aircon in 7 months.
-i think watching people talk is interesting. mingxuan like to use " u imagine la.....". jinghao will blame evrything else except himself. peckboon will go "good play lar". kiat's favorite catchphrase:"becos u suck."
-i wonder why i don't miss rv. unlike mingxuan and sylvia who recently shared their views on this, i have no desire to go back to then. i'd like to think i have no regrets and that i like jc life alot more.....in fact i miss acjc more than i miss rv. but i also think its because i wasn't happy in rv.
-dota today sucked. even when we're in the same team we bicker and banter about how we don't have to carw about team spirit because we're too pro to be bothered, and besides, we want to get top score and can't be dragged down by losers. this is why 4c was eliminated in NJCybergames.
-yihong {2A'03}\4C'o5//#s18#[-forget-]<<<so tell me how it should be>>> PAin begins wif PA... says:
hah
batman of the future got
my fav cartoon
somemore tt batman got rocket boots
n invi rune
★De§« ø6§¤8 »™ TEEN TITANS GO! says:
haha
batman
batman of future not so popular
you know u've hit rock bottom when ur discussing cartoons at 2am.
-i miss alot of things now, like leeyang. like my brudders. like comclub. like YLTCers. like sentosa. like 2a and 4c and 1sb6. like thiam hong and gabriel and chooqi and the 4cians i left behind in acjc.
-3 out of 7 PA excos are 4cians. how's that for a class of leaders.
-i think imperfections make life beautifully unpredictable. and the fact that it doesnt quit on you if u dun quit on it.
-i notice im mostly tired in the morning, exhilarated in the afternoon, laggy at nite, and melacholy+on a high in the very late nite. like now.
-its very hard to organise a yusof ishak outing. IP pple and council ppler and arts pple and basically evryone's busy.
-i think im going to eat supper now and then go to bed. and sleep till 10. and im going to post the lyrics of the nice song i found.
to those hu havent finihsed exams yet......jiayou for ur tests~!
to the rest.....um, take care? lol.
ciao.
29/06/06 18:12
29/06/06
29/06/06
kao bei kao bu.
i hate home.
29/06/06 10:58
29/06/06
28/06/06
im meeting 4c in 8 hours time...
gonna b late =P
28/06/06 18:18
28/06/06
28/06/06
yay. flop physics 2dae oso, especially errors n uncertainties...tried to recall wat i learn in ac...den realise i din learn anything in ac...
so it makes 5 out of possible 5 subjects flop. flopping streak sia...
holding a msn conversation now is incredibly painful. im getting replies at an average interval of 1 minute. either evryone's dozing off at the keyboard, or im dozing off and waking up at 1 minute intervals when the msn sound wakes me up.
hm. sian. got alot of pent-up energy lately. nid go running.
our new CT is Wong Li Lan. given that the first-3-months-s18 walked out of her bio lesson before.....oh wait. this explains why s18 has been 'picked' to go attend SYF opening ceremony dis sat. see wat u get when u guai lan a teacher.
been quite sian lately...dunno wat to do.
i hate regret.
28/06/06 17:16
28/06/06
27/06/06
yihong is having a bad day because:
1)he lost his wallet
2)he flopped chem
3)he flopped maths
4)he has to mug physics later
>.< shouldnt haf gone to skool 2dae.
sian.
27/06/06 11:03
27/06/06
22/06/06
yihong's 5 first steps to flunking common tests.
1. buy the xbox360 game of the year. promptly get addicted, and start gaming the first 3 weeks of june away.
2. treat mugging as a disease, and lagging as a cure.
3. go out to macdonalds to mug, only to spend $20 on assorted drinks, meals, and a cute happy meal toy.
4. organise a study session with your group of most-fun-to-go-out-with-friends which will inevitably end up in a arcade/lan/basketball "destressing session".
5. decide to start mugging, then tap out after an hour.
rawr im so screwed.
22/06/06 07:46
22/06/06
18/06/06
i wrote this down during yltc:
friendship trust initiative teamwork inspiration strength compassion laughter leadership creativity observation patience endurance compromise intuition enthusiasm
i learnt a lot from yltc.
now one last lesson to learn.
letting go.
18/06/06 08:33
18/06/06
14/06/06
14/06/06 12:19
14/06/06
12/06/06
yltc.
7-11.
FUN.
yltc'06 was damn fun sia. it was.....more than i expected. alot more.
due to my unwise choice of buying elder scrolls IV: oblivion, i din really get anything done in the first week of june. like totally gaming frenzy. like oblivion totally rox la. and of course, by happy coincidence i had to attend a 5-day camp when all i wanted to do was to camp 24/7 at home n live my days in a fantasy world of trolls and fireballs.
day1
it seems so long ago, day1. 7/06/06. ly's bdae, coincidentally. we had teambuilding games. the usual lame shit like forming group cheers and hula hoop game and M&m-themed truth sessions. the first real fun i experienced in yltc was when group5 crapped wif ms koh over her claim that we couldn't damage the hula hoops cos they cost $1000 each. plus GST.
after that we were briefed by the teachers abt the LandEx. (the talking sort of briefing, not the wearing-underwear sort =P) den we had lunch n took a bus down to macritchie wif ms lim for the first leg of the LandEx. we took the long route. around macritchie. like reeeeeaaaally round-about sort of route. rawr. n after macritchie we took a bus to bukit timah nature reserve to HIKE SOMEMORE. all this time we hiked with the 5-day bags on our backs. i dun even noe how alex got out the door with his. or got to school without killing pple on the bus. turning around with a bag-like monstrosity like his requires at least 2m of space.
we completed the hike 2nd! n we made it to dairy farm ourselves, no hitching rides from teachers, so there.
went to sleep exhausted. but communal bathing before bedtime was fun HEHEHEH =P. a hot shower felt great after a 7hr hike.
2nd day
we woke up early. like normal school day early. PT was, at first, a run up the hill. in the dark. in the drizzle. up a rocky mountain trail with nothing to see, no visible ground, but to follow the person in front of u. funness lol.
when we got to the end of the trail, it was this big wide field. singapore quarry i think. damn cool! it was still early morning n the sky was v light blue and the first rays of sunshine juz came out over the brick red quarry walls. doing PT was nv dis fun. or scenic.
den we went back for breakfast and den got onto the bus for SeaEx. the entire group slept on the bus from diary farm camp to changi sea sports club, tts how tired we were.
kayaking 16km is tough. kayaking 16km in a double kayak was tougher. kayaking 16km in a double kayak with an ip1 isn't just tough, its killer. me and bandana were always almost near the back lol.
totally collapsed on the beach. despite having spamming energy bars n oreos and staying hydrated, still felt damn shagged. but we made it =D n bandana never gave up =D yeah!!
at nite did reflections with group5..kinda touching la haha =P. n group5 slept outside the toilets tt nite. not many time do i get to slp on concrete floor between the gal n guy toilets hehheh.
third day
rawr. woke up on day3 feeling sore all over. my hands were pretty red. try gripping a bamboo stick for 5 hours. tiring rite. now try using it as a paddle. worse rite. den go to slp, n look at ur hands the nxt day.
PT was kinda 'light'. 200 jumping jacks only. now that's hypocrisy.
we went down to the beach to haf breakfast, ostensibly to watch the sunrise. cept a giant cloud blocked the sun LOL. kinda ruined the moment. that, and the ants on the beach. n the stink of rotting seaweed. and petrol fumes from the ships out at sea. and the stones getting stuck in my shoes. haha enuf griping alr.
we took a bus back to the campsite. felt really high, din wanna sleep....but drifted off to sleep anw. on the back seat. with alex. sleeping with alex on the back seat! XD i love wordplay.
then the camp tchrs gave us 2 hrs to rest up n prep for the day ahead. finally got a good bath n shave n lagged around in the dorm till it was time to go back to the mess hall n get LUNCH. n dun think the camp food sucked. IT ROX. but i guess i was pretty hungry...heh.
teambuilding games damn fun! xian yong aka MONKEY KING ferried rocks like a tarzan dunno how many times. n i got steped on dunno how many timeswhen i was ladder in the 'great wall of njc' station. budden johnathan n alex got whacked too. so i shldnt complain =)
at nite we cheered like hell! hahaha group 3 5 and 7 ganged group 1...cos the cheer damn long n noisy. n we played more games too...i loved being observer. got to see how the group worked from an outside perspective. somemore get to pon thr game =P haha ok attitude problem.
day4
day 4 was hectic. did PT again....actually nt even tired anymore, once u get used to the aches n cramps they stop hurting.
OBSTACLE COURSE. challenge pole...i was 1st up! =D haha manly pride got a boost there. was damn shaky n scary n i was more nervous than i ever rmb. standing up on a pole 3 stories high, even with a harness, isn't easy. i nearly went catatonic lol. but group5 cheers pulled me thru. tho i dunno why they called me "ah beng" n "pai kia" im so nice la =P
den still got flying fox. i HATED IT. the sensation of faling off sux. i swallowed my tongue X(.
den had lunch, den fter that went to the Challenge Ropes Course. basically juz 5 high elements la. did the basic appetiser....walk across a rope, got armholds somemore, no kick sia. den did cargo net....still no kick. den did a harder one....double log walk. the damn logs shaking while they're underfoot...while ur 3 stories up again and the ground is a loooong way off. TERROR.
then xian yong got a crazy idea to do the last station....double rope walk. n i got hyped up about it too. so suddenly found myself 4 stories up on a platform, trying to work up the courage to take the first step. taking the first step, off a platform up there, is the hardest part. once ur on the rope, ur instincts take over, no space for fear anymore. somehow i made it across, n im damn proud tt we all made it across. each one of us rose to take the challenge.and we did our best. especially alex, he din let his fear of heights get in the way. hell yeah we rock.
at nite....GRAND DINNER. the dishes tasted great after 3 days/8meals of 2-dish meals. den cheered like hell. like for 2 hours. group cheers den groups 1 3 5 7 cheered like hell den 2 4 6 8 cheered like mad too....den combined to make new njc cheer lol. got damn high cheering till 10.
then we snuck into an empty dorm to do reflections. but we did sharing session too.....talked about our camping experience and our futures and school and our lives and backgrounds and the choices we made that brought us together to that nite. n we talked till 2am.
even tho i was cold and tired and aching all over, right there, right then, i found a reason to believe that true friends do exist.
day5
day5 passed in a blur. we woke up at 6.01am. we were supposed to report at 6.00am.LOL. got punished la. heckkk, last day le.
we ran tgt in the rain. up the hill, thru a field, around private houses, along he road, cross the junction, up the hill again. joanne had a huge bruise on her chest i think....we had to walk so she could keep up. even tho she was in alot of pain she kept going....damn strong spirit she has. it didn't matter we got overtaken by the rest of the groups. it mattered that we finished together as one =)
then we cheered somemore lol. for an hour. n we sang songs and did njc cheers and the new cheer and got dan high.
den area cleaning...and did reflections one last time. alot of the things group5 said made alot of sense to me...i got alot out of talking n listening to u guys =) den we got our camp certs. n mine got typo la....lim yi Wong.....lol siannnn.
reached home n collapsed...in front of the xbox ahahaha. GAMING. napped from 2-6. den at nite GAMING again. common tests....go die lar heheh.
i'll include my reflections n some other stuff in the next n3...i think this n3's too long alr haha.
gdnite all~
4321
listen to our heartbeat
bombobom
bobombobom
bombobom
bobombobom
njc! =D
12/06/06 16:43
12/06/06
09/06/06
hmm one of yihong's fave songs, lets hope it makes top 3 for 98.7 top 10 tonight.
Fort Minor -- Where'd You Go
09/06/06 12:03
09/06/06
09/06/06
yihong's third day at camp, i wonder if he's still surviving properly. WORLD CUP OPENS TONIGHT! aiya, sadly my ballack isnt playing. i hope germany send the costa ricans off the field crying.
i finally figured out how to use chicken to backstab. played a dota match just now, the naix on my team couldnt farm and fend off the shadowfiend. so.. shadowfiend became godlike. and naix so weak lategame. and i think i suck at intel heroes now after intensively using agility.
i miss dota-ing with 4c. kiat's verbal abuse at everyone on his team. gab's fearsomeness regardless of whatever hero he uses, esp balanar and antimage. choo's malaysian tactics, go solo when enemy hero MIA. chai happily pushing when everybody defending. yh's scary moonrider then drow ranger. elgin the namo, always so hiong. thiam, the pro naix and the uptight one. opb, the bazooka man whose raigor stonehoof always goes kamikaze tactics and his shadow shaman running all around. victor, i always remember him saying "whatever hero buy sange and yasha can already" and his pro vs. then got the girls, shihui go slayer, qianzhi go TECHIES then put mines in enemy secret shop HAHA. how nolstalgic.
i shall go play a new hero now, 1-on-1 with yh when he comes back and his com revives.
--leeyang
09/06/06 02:21
09/06/06
07/06/06
oops that was me the previous entry.
--leeyang
07/06/06 11:20
07/06/06
07/06/06
yihong has gone to YLTC and he has tasked me to make his blog stay alive. THIS BLOG IS MINE FOR FIVE DAYS. but i promised him no more german madness. speaking of which world cup opens in 2 days time, and i keep being attracted by germany team merchandise everywhere. i only eat brown red and yellow M&Ms until the joga bonito festival is over to show my utmost support for ballack. and lehmann, although i much prefer the unbreachable sentinel kahn. yihong wants me to update.
monday. went out to celebrate my birthday. went to suntec, and the Suntec Curse strikes again. walked around the whole mall like 8 times and my shoe sole decided to fall apart. spent 25 bucks buying a pair of taitai shoes and yihong suddenly developed a massive headache. and he says i behave like a taitai. don't believe him. im still waiting for him to turn pro goalie so i can be a soccer wife. went into adidas and we both fell in love with the germany jersey and yihong sort of hinted he wanted it and i think i can cough up $109 by christmas this year. i can see through yihong's little hints about "never mind, can buy at the pasar malam downstairs". and yihong hates teamgeist. he says its too slippery for him to catch when it rains. pffft. read PORN at a bookshop and went marche for dinner. i can't remember what else happened. amnesia strikes. and yihong's phone ***** my phone.
tuesday. yihong went to band and i played dota and watched k-dramas for the whole day. first-blooded an innocent pinoy and remembered yihong telling me about how to use a chicken to backstab. it's very interesting ok, i only thought chickens were used to overwhelm the enemy base when all is lost. AND IT'S THE CHAI-HUNTING SEASON LET'S ALL JOIN IN PWNING CHAI! i'm very bored, please play dota with me. i think dachangjing is superbly interesting, but yihong thinks k-dramas are a ploy by korea to ensure singaporeans are deeply entraced and addicted to the shows when they invade us. DELUSIONS.
wednesday. yihong goes to camp. it sounds like a torture hike when i hear the descriptions. after all im hydrophobic and tanorexic like CHAI. and he didn't elaborate about the marine expedition. i think the camp participants are required to row kayaks out to sea, plunge into murky depths and re-create coral habitats for clownfish. novel idea. rawr i miss him already.
07/06/06 11:18
07/06/06
03/06/06
You Have a Choleric Temperament
|
You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.
You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.
At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.
|
03/06/06 13:30
03/06/06
03/06/06
ballack is like so hot. the epitome of a german hunk. yihong prefers to refer to the german team as "a tribe of hitler-people". i think he's secretly rooting for brazil.
meanwhile let's fly the german flag high!
--leeyang
03/06/06 02:42
03/06/06
02/06/06
stomachache hurts like hell. can't fall back into slp =(
bought a new game...obssesively playing it for the past few days...heck homework somemore, sian la.
i wish i had an elder. like a brother, or a cousin, or an uncle. dad's like a stranger nowadays. he's just not there anymore.
been going back to school every day since monday. if there's a diff between sch n holidays. i dont see it.
saw a book written by daniel in je lib..kinda cool cos the first time a fren of mine wrote a bk..n he din tell me too. but he din talk much in ac anw.
i'm still listening to pieces by sum41. there's something about the song that i identify with. and its a sad a depressing song by any standards.thus therefore by simple logic i'm sad and depressed myself (?)
saw shuhui n kaiqi at jec 2dae. nice taste, opb.
mayb band wasn't such a bright idea. prac 4 times a week. sats taken up. chai says to quit, but that's chai.
chai asks why i complicate my life so.
i take up so many commitments so that at the end of the day, i can tell myself i made a difference to someone's life 2dae. and my life too. it's in giving that we receive. (acjc propoganda, but it's true)
we're all mortal. we're all already dead. in the end, what i want to be remembered for isn't how, or when, or why i died. i want to be remembered for how i lived.
i'm not afraid of losing my life.
i'm afraid of not living my life.
does that make sense to anyone?
anyone at all?
take care guys~
02/06/06 17:29
02/06/06
01/06/06
i leave my blog for 3 days, and it turns into a german fan club -.-"
strangely some of my friends have nothing to do. take poor jinghao for example. he now lives an ascetic life, bound to his parents and his home, condemned to suffer 2 weeks of no com and no social life. hes so bored that he mugs to pass the time. the no-life poster boy.
on the other extreme, some pple haf to much to do. poor zongxiao, now in thailand being devoured alive by bloodsucking beasts aka mosquitos, teaches the thai children to read. for 3 weeks. on coming back, he'll be drained of energy ( and blood). and just in time to catch one last week of mugging for common tests.
anw ytd went bowliing wif s18...got a grand total of 9 frames with a score of 9. i was official president of the 9-club. ya laaa damn suay lar evry time whack 9 balls out den cnot snipe last ball.
den last 4 frames hit a turkey and one 8. wtfwtfwtf. boei tarhan my luck. nv going back there to bowl again.
anw adeline says leeyang is chio. i detect competition haha =P
take care all~
01/06/06 12:42
01/06/06
31/05/06
OLIVER KAHN ROCKS
but now...
JENS LEHMANN ROCKS MORE.
email me at mrsjenslehmann@germanyrocks.com. sorry yh, i couldnt resist publicizing my fetish for german goalies.
--leeyang
31/05/06 03:59
31/05/06
29/05/06
i'm vandalising this blog! yihong says if this post of mine gets too deluded, he might have to issue a public apology to his readers. i suppose that's mild, yihong always gets severe migraines when conversing with me.
ernest chai yihong and i went to watch xmen3 today after much failed plotting (HAHA). and i got a happy meal toy truck today and i named it oliver after oliver kahn cos i think he rocks. i have a goalie fetish. yihong thinks girls and joga bonito are extreme opposites although i'm trying my best to run and kick the ball in a straight line during PE lessons. i'm quite pissed kahn isnt germany's 1st choice goalie, i think i shall write appeals to the german chancellor and the president of the world cup to make kahn play. FOR MY VIEWING PLEASURE. usually when i get to this part of my selfrighteous tirade about kahn, yihong starts looking unusually sick and clutches his head in a pained manner.
xmen3 was nice. typical comicbook movie and chai was rather amazed by the special effects. speaking of which, i want a host of mutants for christmas if yihong manages to find them on ebay. or some mutant dealers from angola. the strap on chai's bag snapped cleanly at the mrt station when we were going home and he was quite upset and started ranting about how his mom would kill him. and he refused to show me SOME PICTURES. how very uncooperative.
ok im going off. and im glad yihong and i are fine now :D:D
--leeyang
29/05/06 12:37
29/05/06
27/05/06
my life is going straight to hell.
ya la im the dao uncouth guy wif the dao face hu's irritating and nasty.
ya la im the worst son u ever could have.
ya la ive screwed up big time dis time. misunderstood.
ya la im the worst person anyone could possible imagine. misunderstood.
ya la u noe more abt evrything than me.
yoda was right.
sometimes pretending is all there is.
so tired.
drowning.
end of the line.
27/05/06 15:30
27/05/06
26/05/06
ITS NOT FAIR.
im sick of worrying for someone who doesnt care i care.
apparently im not worth taking time to confide in.
apparently im not a person worth confiding in.
apparently if i want to know why, i have to go ask someone else to explain.
apparently you just don't care abt me.
i hate you.
26/05/06 13:36
26/05/06
20/05/06
Where'd You Go?
fort minor
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
i miss you =(
20/05/06 15:56
20/05/06
20/05/06
wargh the wk went by in a blur. lets start from the beginning eh.
monday was crap la, had a carwash after sch but haslfway thru amelia n i left for a YLTC meeting. ran arnd nj for like 45mins b4 discovering the meeting cancelled, postponed etc.....WTF....
tues was crap again la, damn tired n pissed for some reason n PE was stupid anw lol. oh ya i vividly rmb willa chen making fun of me in PW, dunno for wad. whole claz laughing at me n i dun even get the joke....wth -.-
the onli thing i rmb abt wed is gp claz.... me n lerxian sitting at the back stoning thruout, dunno wad thr tchr saying la most of the time its like shes talking to herself n laughing at her own jokes. plus one especially funny incident when she suddenly asked lerxian "did u haf sex?" -.-" wtf wtf wtf.
i dun rmb thurs at all lol...amnesia strikes la sry.
fri was one hell of a day..econs presentation was damn lame la, we din present at all cuz tiew thot we "had nothing to contribute further"...do transparency for wad -.-. ya la den after sch we started doing up the funtasia stall, paint banner n move table n etc. funness la halfway thru i went off to play soc.
solaris B came together as individuals,but we left as a team. that sounds like winning to me =) we rok!
2dae was funtasia, damn busy sia. reach sch to pia the stall and pia the hotdogs n during 10-2 damnnn busy i din get a break till 330 den after tt damn shunag la. fresh air feels great after u've been inhaling the smell of frying hotdogs for 4 hrs lol.
we made $1151 =D
s18 we rok!
20/05/06 15:51
20/05/06
12/05/06
i'm in 2 minds 2dae. pardon the mess.
1)我讨厌你..让我觉得更难受..
++++++++++++
2)guess who
he hates himself.
he hates his life.
he runs and hides from the world.
he never stops running.
he can't lead.
he knows he has to be strong.
but he's been strong for so long.
he can't be strong for much longer.
you don't see him, you won't see him.
cuz i won't let you.
++++++++++++
yeahs anw went to sentosa wif 4c 2dae.like all 4c outings we started late. like 3 hrs late. we went to palawan. y not siloso is beyond me. haha den halfway thru playing sea monkey it started raining. so we moved into the shade and stoned till 530 n went bak to harbourfront.
den went to je n ate dinner n went arcade n blew a whole lot of money on drumming n shooters n bball.
den on the way home realised i forgot to go SPCA. ahas heck, some memories aren't meant to be relived.
4c really is a sian bunch. >.<
ciao.
12/05/06 14:33
12/05/06
06/05/06
guitar concert last nite was....traumatic. dun get me wrong tho, the music was great...but other parts were quite bullshit. see below.
all-time-lows
1)this 6yr old girl standing on stage, hugging her teddy bear with a death grip, belting out "over the rainbow", whilst balefully staring at the audience. its like a pro-child-abuse advert. i mean, i could see the dark rings under her eyes wayyy back in 2nd last row of lt5.
2)j2 guy trying to sing some bullshit song " always waiting for u" or "always with u" into a dead mic. for 30s. pa rox lol.
3)when the j2 guy's kic came alive and stated blaring his crooning all over the lt. MY POOR EARS.
4)jack. 'nuff said.
amelia the super-pro-salewoman. sold 12 cans of ex air freshener. spewed endless litres of crap on how nice the scents are. amelia rox. plus the carwash money, suasges are off to a gd start.
wargh im so sianeed tmr nid to mug. cya~
06/05/06 13:59
06/05/06
03/05/06
i've been so tired lately. fell asleep in chem PRACTICAL omg damn malu la. fell aslp in pw compre test. if it weren't for the $1.30 bottle of nescafe i drank at lunch i wld haf my snored my way thru econs lect.
btw y r all econs lecturers young, female and bitchy?
give me the same choices that i had, and i'd have the same decision.
no regrets.
03/05/06 14:21
03/05/06
02/05/06
hell yes, finally someone understands my viewpoint.
You are Agnostic
|
You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.
|
02/05/06 13:47
02/05/06
30/04/06
i'm not scary. so there.
You Are Not Scary
|
Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?
|
30/04/06 14:23
30/04/06
30/04/06
You Are a Hunter Soul
|
You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed
Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.
You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.
You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.
An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.
You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.
People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.
You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.
Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul
|
30/04/06 14:06
30/04/06
28/04/06
really fun claz outing 2dae. ok la im being sarcastic again =P
my wkend is totally booked. Is it cuz im too sociable.
"i'm merely looking for acceptance in this world"...i've been there. sadly i din find it.
i knocked on its door, long and hard, till acceptance found me.
i respect strength. the will to carry it through. all the way.
i respect courage. to do what must be done, to do the right thing. my duty to myself.
i respect respect. arrogance is its own worst enemy.
is it any wonder i've no respect for myself.
28/04/06 15:19
28/04/06
27/04/06
stop thinking start feeling.
i don't want to live in a world of logici don't want my life to follow the rules
i don;t want to follow the rules
i juz want a life
pardon the font color.
i'm definetely ranting lol.
27/04/06 13:53
27/04/06
27/04/06
i'm.....torn.
mingxuan said to me:" u noe i juz realised we're in jc"
me:*typical sarcastic remark on how observant he is*
mingxuan"no cuz im still remembering pirmary sch n rv lahh."
me:"hmm...same here"
its when i realised i'm living in the past.
i'm still wishing i could go back to the way it was.
the last time i did this i wasted 3 months of my life. living in my memories.
i don't want to forget my memories.
i don't want to move on.
i don't want to leave them behind.
but i have too many to bring with me.
i want to remember every laugh every tear every photo every joke we shared and every time we felt alive.
i don't want to be alone.
but in the end i will be.
i already am.
27/04/06 10:53
27/04/06
26/04/06
wed really sux. chem double period, ms aw keeps picking on me wtf. she definately likes me. or she likes hating me. either one lah.
tmr got pe HAHA GAMESGAMESGAMES. the last soccer frenly we had wif s19 was really fun =)
gotta do alot of proposals. carwash gpp fries and claz tee.
im officially in PA! haha no la havent turned up for a single cca session yet, im abt 4 months behind in my PA training.
n like a fag, the blogskin me n chai made looksbtr than MY blogskin. wargh....remake!
unknown senior rushing for claz:"quick run la, ltr the ahpeh use his big dick whack us"
????? wtf 0_o !!!!!!! knn like a porn leh.
my gp teacher, ms chin......total rubbish lesson 2dae.
eg1. miss chin *says to guanhoe* : ENG HONG, can u tell me why *yadayadayada*
eg2. guan hoe to miss chin:" cher, i called guanhoe"
*miss chin nods*
eg3. -5 mins after eg 1 n eg2- miss chin to guan hoe:" ENG HONG, can u tell me why *yadayadayada*
eg4. *my pen drops on the floor and i pick it up*
30s later...miss chin:" oh dear where's ur pen?"
not lag sia -.-"
2 days to e long weekend....stay strong guys.
i hope i can stay strong myself =(
cya~
26/04/06 10:56
26/04/06
24/04/06
its been a blur week, evry morning i get up looking foward to the end of school. But the end of school seems ever elusive. And the new physics lecturer has the ability to stop time, his forces lectures go on forever n ever.
Handed in the damn PI at last, with a grade of low ME from Ms chen im nt exactly harboring high hopes 4 it, but wad the hell at least its over n done with.
Scraped a silver NAPFA on sat, cant believe i ended my 6-year fail streak for NAPFA with a sudden surge in sports prowess.
anw after napfa went to KAP 4 lunch with s18 ( kena ribbed abt being too pro in sports by evryone >.< ) and then went to the BB bowling alley. spent the next 2 hrs on the waiting list, gave up waiting after chai grumbled enuff abt "losing his maple time" -.-"
the bowling guy called me up abt 30s after we split up to go home to come to the counter n order our games...lol.
had a couple of darn bad leg cramps on sat nite/ sun v early morning....forced to spend all day in front of the com gaming lol. "i cant walk n my arms hurt" is a darn gd excuse to slack all day.
anws i dun haf a cca yet LOL i tink im screwed la.
and after seeing the maldives CIP presentation 2dae i suddenly wanna go to maldives too! white sand, crystal clear water...and CORAL somemore. try going down to east coast park 2dae to c coral, ur more likely to end up wif a mouthful of brine and diesel oil.
PE tmr woohoo free games hahahaha the perks of passing napfa^^
cya~
24/04/06 13:11
24/04/06
18/04/06
i got invited to taiwan for an immersion programme by MoE...my chinese b3 can get in, a1 pple cannot. how ironic that the hopeless cases for chinese get to spend MoE's money to go overseas while the really passionate abt chinese cant. so much for meritocracy.
leg gonna cramp up soon, the thigh area muscles super tight. but all things considered 2dae's pe was the laggiest since i came to nj.
tmr might or might not go pool, dunno when council speeches end lehx. either way my ass is going to drop off if speech day really involves sitting in a LT for 5 hrs straight. All the bez for ur speech man desmond!
took shooting trials ytd wif a fever, half way thru i guess i was feeling so hot n stuffy n was sweating like mad i drowned the fever bugs or smth.
wargh sian la.
cya~
18/04/06 14:28
18/04/06
16/04/06
wargh sianzz. Cooped up doing homework these 2 days, not much of a weekend lehx. At least cleard most of it.
went for a haircut 2dae, i din really like the style but when the barber asked if it was nice i nodded anw. rmb kids: dun argue with a guy holding a razor to the side of ur head.
my PI totally sux, i dun think i'm going to make band1.
napfa nxt saturday, sounds like a lousy end to the week.
n maths test nxt week, sounds like a lousy nxt week too blearghh.
every electrical appliance in this house is falling apart. My com wun turn on sometimes, my iPod is taking incresingly long to charge, the paint on my hp is peeling, the washing machine likes to make clanking noises nowadays. nxt thing u noe, my water heater is going to electrocute me in the bath.
i ate 10 eggs dis week. 3 omelettes = 3x3 eggs = 9 eggs. Plus one more halfboiled egg ytd for dinner. Makes 10 eggs. Im on heart-attack highway.
PLUS i drank the oreo crush in nj on thurs n lerxian warned it causes brain cancer. And chai recited the formula a long organic compund present in oreo that bonds with water or smth to cause smth else to cause brain cancer. how reassuring.
watch me drop dead during napfa, guys and gals.
cya~
16/04/06 07:15
16/04/06
14/04/06
s18 bbq ytd was strangely fun. originally thot it was like a boring social function, turned out to b a freestyle foodfest+stupid-games-galore. After chai n joli left tgt at arnd 7 we gt super high playing hide.n.seek n taidi n freeze.n.melt n whacko. sadly went home dam early, otherwise quite cool can stay out late tgt as a claz.
nj super lot of homework. evry subj except pe n gp got homework. n i still haven even join a cca wth la.
council elections on wednesday, i dunno hu to vote for. i guess it comes down to the speeches. all e bez for ur speech desmond! n joli n christin too haha.
- hate. like a virus. like a darkness. eating away. at the edges of my heart.
no.more.hating. -
2dae went marche wif ly. rosti rox. ly rox more =D
i guess if u 3 pple dun wanna mix wif s18 i cant do anything, its ur decision not mine.
alot of mugging to do tmr, cya pple~
14/04/06 15:29
14/04/06
11/04/06
heys thanks evryone for making my 17th bdae soecial, esp 4c...omg im touched la!
leeyang u rock! =D
new blogskin, made myself...yeah im a com pro =P haha no la juz cut n paste skills needed.
thanx alot really, i love u guys.
11/04/06 11:36
11/04/06
08/04/06
hell yes the weekend is finally here. Wad a fking bad week its been.
got a tonne of homework, tutors want 2nd intakers to submit term 1 work....tts like 3 months of work to be done in 2 days, i'll never make it.
wad a fking bad week it IS.
08/04/06 03:03
08/04/06
03/04/06
yeahs lost to 4b again...34-17. GG la they had a gr8 hero combi, all credit to their training.
4c nv gave up! =D beaten but nv broken.
spilled milo on my bag + kena whooped in dota + failed math quiz.
think UR day was bad, think again lol.
03/04/06 12:18
03/04/06
01/04/06
yeahs been some time since i came online.....com been giving me probs. BUT now i'm back to save the day, never fear while i am here MUAHAHA =.= sry stupid outburst cuz com up n running.
went bowling wif chaky yibo n desmond the past 2 days....overexerted myhand, went to acupuncture juz now n the doc said "ah di ah....u bowl too much isit?" *i nod* "aiyaaa i see these cases sooo often....young pple nowadays are soooo headstrong n dun take care of themselves -YADAYADAYADA-"
like an ah peh....which he was la lol.
2dae went out to lan wif the 4c squad...plus glen n eugene from acjc-sb5. won first match on teamwork, 2nd match on extreme noobiness from eugene-->feeder bus phantom lancer. so yeah........was a fun day out.
i havent done chem tutorial or read the WEP notes omg im gonna DIE.
tmr im going out for movie wif brudders =D...i tink im too damn lag to b an NJCian.
i miss u leeyang
cya pple, take care~
01/04/06 14:21
01/04/06
01/04/06
just say goodnight...the click 5 rox
Our seperation has it's faults
but I don't wanna leave it all
so write the letters in teary ink
I just need some time to think
and I just need some time to breathe
baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
baby just walk away
you know I can't stay
there's no easy way to say goodbye
so baby just say goodnight
we're in a spell that never ends
the empty hourglass wore me thin
so let the phone do it's work
your voice is heaven
but it hurts
your words are memories
but they burn
baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
baby just walk away
you know I can't stay
there's no easy way to say goodbye
so baby just say goodnight
baby don't say goodbye
baby just close your eyes
and dream,tomorrow's on it's way
so just walk away
baby just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
baby just close your eyes
I can't take the sorrow
baby just walk away
you know I can't stay
there's no easy way to say goodbye
so baby just say goodnight
baby just say goodnight
01/04/06 13:35
01/04/06
26/03/06
if u don't know urself, dun expect me to.
26/03/06 06:51
26/03/06
26/03/06
sum41--some say
Some say we're never meant to grow up
I'm sure they never knew enough
I know the pressures won't go
Away
It's too late
Find out the difference somehow
It's too late to even have faith
Don't think things will ever change
You must be dreaming
Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all
It's so easy after all
Believe me 'cause now's the time to try
Don't wait, the chance will pass you by
Time's up to figure it out
You can't say it's too late
Seems like everything we knew
Turned out were never even true
Don't trust, things will ever change
You must be dreaming
(Dreaming)
Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all (Wake me up, wake up)
It's so easy after all
guitar solo
Some say we're better off without
Knowing what life is all about
I'm sure they'll never realize the way
It's too late
Somehow it's different everyday
In some ways it never fades away
Seems like it's never gonna change
I must be dreaming
(Dreaming, Dreaming)
Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all (Wake me up, wake up)
It's so easy after all
Believe me, it's alright
It's so easy after all
Believe me, it's alright
It's so easy after all
tried to balance too many things.....flopped.
unbalanced.
26/03/06 06:15
26/03/06
25/03/06
the little girl bought a simple jigsaw puzzle. She spent a long time sorting the pieces out, putting them together; spent many happy hours in school slowly fitting the seemingly unfittable pieces together, till one day it all clicked, the pieces fitted in. and for a while she had a nice picture to admire evry day, for it was her hard work and her time and her perseverance that made that picture.
one day, the school bully came. he flung the puzzle on the floor; the picture shatterd and some pieces went missing.
the girl didnt give up though. she went back and bought a new puzzle, from the same store and from the same shelf, wif the same number of pieces and the same picture.
she took some pieces from her new puzzle and mixed it in the old one and fitted it in.
but it wasnt the same. the new pieces were cut differently, some had extra edges, some had different colours from the old puzzle.
some pieces didn't want to fit. the picture had gaps. no longer as colourful, no longer as complete.
broken inside.
25/03/06 14:54
25/03/06
24/03/06
thiam asked me wat a muger is....ran a search on
http://www.answers.com ...n the results are......
mug·ger1 (mŭg'ər) 
n.
- One who commits a mugging.
- One who makes exaggerated faces, as in performing.
mug·ger2 (mŭg'ər)
n.
A large crocodile (Crocodilus palustris) of southwest Asia, having a very broad wrinkled snout.
LOL LA.
24/03/06 15:49
24/03/06
24/03/06
all american rejects--move along
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]
(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
thx for the songs owenhonigo, it rox =D!!
oh ya edit out the "TIME" under point 1. in the last n3, ishld b "NOISE". haha sry really bad typo!
24/03/06 15:15
24/03/06
24/03/06
s18 prelimary impressions...
1. on average, half the s18 gals make the same amount of time as my handfone on vibrate....sometimes less.
2. cliques. all over. joli-chooting-jamie. lerxian-kenneth-kanglih. chai-ernest. dhika-christin. the other pple i dunno....they're nv around anw.
3. we move to arnd classes tgt =/= we dun do things tgt.
4. 2dae's claz outing was disappointing. waaayyy....sian. guys-->pool, gals-->kbox. dinner-->subdued. post dinner activity --> go home. ouch.
24/03/06 12:34
24/03/06
22/03/06
"actually s18 is a petty sian claz leh....i tot u said it was v fun..."
"NO la, it WAS fun lor, till u 2nd intakers came in n kicked out the old s18 pple...."
damn.
22/03/06 09:18
22/03/06
21/03/06
s18 is........a fun bunch. So far anw, hu noes wat pple really r like when u get to noe them better. Been mugging physics and chem and maths and starting today, econs. Pls note mug =/= go remedial lectures...430-610? i'm 'opting out'.
got saboed by chai to b CT rep....-.-" la. CT rep pons remedials, heck care taidi-playing activities in homeroom and juz today turned up for econs tutorial late. Juz goes to show chai's fine ability to choose responsible, goody-2-shoes CT reps =P.
still getting used to tucking in and wearing winterwear (aka "NJ uniform") all day, bought a new bag from Zinc today and anticipating a helluva headache over econs tutorial later. Life's a blast!
oh ya i mite end up joining wiehong's cca--free agent. Aka NO CCA OMG.
mugmugmug pple, 1 yr 5 months of JC left. n treasure it too if u can scratch up the time.
cya~
21/03/06 09:13
21/03/06
18/03/06
ok wtf seems like html is not an accepted tongue on this skin. wth.
18/03/06 14:48
18/03/06
18/03/06
<TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD align=middle><FONT size=5><B>The Expatriate</B></FONT><BR>Achtung! You are 38% brainwashworthy, 27% antitolerant, and 33% blindly patriotic </TD></TR>
<TR>
<TD>Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism does not reach unhealthy levels. <B>If you had been German in the 30s, you would've left the country.</B> <BR><BR>One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.<BR><BR>Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could have been one of them. <BR><BR>Conclusion: <B>born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.</B><BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/nazi/expatriate.jpg"></CENTER><BR><BR>
<CENTER><FONT size=4><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17675020579094199926">The Would You Have Been A Nazi? Test</A></FONT><BR><FONT size=1>- it rules - </FONT></CENTER></TD></TR>
<TR>
<TD align=middle><IMG src="http://is2.okcupid.com/users/116/944/11694560292031626201/mt1124826045.gif"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><BR><BR><BR>
<TABLE cellPadding=20>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD><SPAN id=comparisonarea>My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people <I>your age and gender</I>:
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<TABLE cellSpacing=4 cellPadding=0 border=0>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD vAlign=center>
<TABLE cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=0 bgColor=black border=0>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD width=69 bgColor=#b2cfff height=20><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD>
<TD width=81 bgColor=white><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD>
<TD vAlign=center>You scored higher than <B>46%</B> on <B>brainwashworthy</B></TD></TR>
<TR>
<TD vAlign=center>
<TABLE cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=0 bgColor=black border=0>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD width=53 bgColor=#b2cfff height=20><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD>
<TD width=97 bgColor=white><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD>
<TD vAlign=center>You scored higher than <B>35%</B> on <B>antitolerant</B></TD></TR>
<TR>
<TD vAlign=center>
<TABLE cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=0 bgColor=black border=0>
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD width=59 bgColor=#b2cfff height=20><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD>
<TD width=91 bgColor=white><A href="http://www.okcupid.com/"><IMG alt="free online dating" src="http://is1.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0></A></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD>
<TD vAlign=center>You scored higher than <B>39%</B> on <B>patriotic</B></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BLOCKQUOTE></SPAN></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><table cellpadding=20><tr><td>Link: <a href='http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17675020579094199926'>The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test</a> written by <a href='http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=11694560292031626201'>jason_bateman</a> on <a href='http://www.okcupid.com'>OkCupid Free Online Dating</a>, home of the <a href='http://www.okcupid.com/oktest3'>32-Type Dating Test</a></td></tr></table>
18/03/06 14:47
18/03/06
17/03/06
woahhhh....went swimming n soccer today, my leg feels like it got blown off by a landmine.
and my skin is a nice healthy tinge of blood red too, what fun.
arghhh haven do chem tutorial yet....i can see myself in claz alr, getting whackd on the head by crazy chem teacher. and whacked by math teacher. and GP. and physics.
suddenly i dowan go sch le.
met richie 2dae, he looked so cool la wif his addidas jacket and jeans n all-black attire. suddenly miss sb6, i wonder how the guys are hanging.
sometimes i wonder if i should have changed jc. then i wonder wat difference my answer would make.
the past is past? wish it were so.
17/03/06 13:39
17/03/06
14/03/06
wahhhh i;ve been cooped up for the past 2 days, today finally got out of the house.
Sunday was total crap, mapled and Battlefield2-ed and dota-ed and ms-ed the whole day till 6. Den go grandmum's house and halo somemore with cousins. At the rate im gaming my com chair will haf a butt-sized depression by the end of dis week. And the com shall blow up due to simultaneous graphics card meltdown and hard drive overheat.
budden again the com's exploding wun make a diff, rite now evrytime i play dota or Battlefield2 it freezes up at the most exciting time. sadistic, twisted com! @#$&(*#!!!
lol la nowadays damn hot, dad continually seeks refuge in west mall lib and cringes away form the sun in mum's room. How fun to see a ranting father reduced to a meek refugee from the light juz cos the temperature went up by 2 deg.
2dae went out wif ly to west coast park mac do homework....actually more of chatting the afternoon away la. lol was fun tho, the first real relaxed and laidback day i've had all week.
went home on a bus extolling the pleasures of a thailand vacation, while inside the bus TvMobile regaled the news of protests in Bangkok and possible declaration of a state o emergency. How's that for irony.
ate 2 ramlys (or isit ramlies?) for dinner, now waiting for heart attack/failure to happen. mite as well die blogging.
oh ya i wanna change the blog music, can any1 suggest?
take care pple, ciao~
14/03/06 14:10
14/03/06
11/03/06
so its the hols. celebrate independence from homework, th tyranny of school, yadayadayada.
truth is, my past 3 months HAs been a whole big holiday. i learnt a minimal of 3 chapters of maths, 2 chapters of physics and i dun even wanna account for chem. Its been an unbelievably slack 3 months, i've done nothing since the end of Os.
sadly i dun haf anything to do. wanted to sign up for ninjado(sounds so ninja-like rite) classes, but i dun haf a timetable yet so i've put off signing up till i noe when my days end.
ytd was a wierd day, high in the morning, butterflies in the afternoon and mild sianness at nite, i wonder if mum has been sneaking psychotropic substances into my food to induce chemical highs and lows. this is the point whr all my self-understanding goes to shit, sec4 was never this much of an emotional rollercoaster.
oh yah hp bill in 3 days time. thats my cue to look small n hope they wun find me when the bill comes in.
u cant scold what u cant find.
nxt n3: ~limits~
cya pple, enjoy the hols =]
11/03/06 09:42
11/03/06
09/03/06
NJ Orientation 2 is over! had a pretty lame time la, wasnt a lot of fun but it was nice meeting some new pple n getting a feel of how nj pple really are.
today was one uber slack day, had 4.5 hrs of free time after the only lecture ended at 940 lol. mapled alotalot in bytez, my hand hurts la..
My mum cooked tom yum soup for dinner.
See also: Lava
tmr nj ends at 1230. wat new horrors await 2nd intakers?
cya~
09/03/06 11:51
09/03/06
06/03/06
trained alot of maple lately, but my assassin still about as fearsome as a clown, and twice as laughable.
2dae 1st day NJ 2nd orientation....okok la, pity theres no atmosphere of fun n excitement ala 1st intake orientation, now it feels rushed and planned and something to get over with asap.
Discipline mistress says:" In nj, u dun flaunt ur wealth ah. This is not some acs school where we allow our students to flaunt their wealth in front of their peers"
=>acs=rich=likes to flaunt wealth?
stereotype la.
cya~
06/03/06 10:53
06/03/06
05/03/06
train maple alotalot lately, but my thief still no improvement, its about as lethal as a rotten grapefruit.
posted to nj. all the riflers there r from dsa, nxt to them i pbly look like i haf shooting prowess of a grapefruit(again).
rainy day...........sian
i miss sb6.
cya pple
05/03/06 09:11
05/03/06
02/03/06
went to sch 2dae, as usual met up wif thiam at buono vista mrt. all i got was a "ni bu shi yao qu NJ lor? chu la, lai ac ZHOU MUO."
Phy lect. open door go into LT, thiam shouted out "yihong got stapler anot?" "dun haf" "oh ya NJ pple no stapler one."
Before JAE u spew bullshit abt how u'll let me make my choice, u wun pressure me stay, u wun blame me if i try go NJ. now u look at me like i've let u dwn, talk to me like an acquaintance. FUCK u.
i lost my water bottle again, my mom confiscated my ang pow money, my dad's yelling at me right now.
i made 3 new gd, new frens on my last day of AC. i've found a malay fren hu's the opposite of everything my racist side thinks malays are.
outside it might b sunny and warm, but my sky is weeping.
02/03/06 09:04
02/03/06
28/02/06
i dun c the point of coming home anymore.
i only get shouted at, whatever i do.
28/02/06 12:53
28/02/06
23/02/06
halfway thru maths tutorial, thandar started laughing. n laughing. n laughing. i asked her wat was so funny n she said she din noe o.0
so abt 3 mins later, her laughs subsided to giggles. den she noticed it wad drizzling. den started to giggle and laugh again. o.0 ?!?!?!?!
den when she calmed down abit she said:" tis is y i cannot stay in ac, i'm going crazy....hahahahaha -.-"... "
it juz reinforces my theory acjc drives u mad after awhile.
23/02/06 12:37
23/02/06
21/02/06
the boy's parents had given him enough money to buy one, and only one pair of toys. and so the boy went to the store, and asked the lady there for the toy cars he had been eyeing for a month. he paid and left, and spent the next week happily playing with the cars.
but one day, he grew tired of the toy cars; they had turned too drab; their colours worn away by hours of rubbing, their contours too familiar. they had become to familiar to be fun anymore.
then one day, he walked by the toy store, and saw a whole row of delicious-looking chocolate bars on the counter. he rushed in and gazed in wonder at the bright wrappings, and suddenly felt very hungry. so he asked the lady how much a bar would cost, and his face fell when he heard the answer, for he did not have enough money for a bar, and his parents would never give him money to buy a bar of such sweet food.
yet he wanted a bar of chocolate so much, so badly. he searched his pockets for anything he could trade for a bar of chocolate; but all he found were old candy wrappings, a pair of dice, his handkerchief...nothing of any worth...except his pair of toy cars. so the boy pestered the lady to trade him a bar of chocolate for his toy cars, and haggled, and pleaded, until the lady gave in, and gave him a bar of chocoate in exchange for the cars.
how happy the boy was, as he ate the filling chocolate, he enjoyed every taste of the creamy chocolate and crunchy nutty topping. and for a little while, he was happy.
a few days later, he had just finished school, his friends had gone home, and he was lonely on the steps of the school, waiting for his mother to come fetch him home. suddenly he remembered about the toy cars he had not seen not long ago, and searched and searched his pockets for them, until he realised he had traded them off. he ran to the store, ad peered into the window, and saw there his toy cars, lovingly repainted by the lady, shiny and colourful and looking brand-new. and the boy suddenly missed the toy cars, longed to feel their countours beneath his fingers again, the cool metal touch. and he searched his pocket for the bar of chocolate he had recieved, determined to trade it back for the cars.
but he couldn't have them back, beacuse he had nothing left.
its not about having something to love, its about loving what you have.
21/02/06 09:24
21/02/06
19/02/06
我在沙滩划个圆圈
属于我俩安逸世界
不用和别人连线
我不管你来自深渊
也不在乎身上的鳞片
爱情能超越一切
只要你在我身边
所有蜚语流言完全视而不见
请不要匆匆一面一转身就沉入海平线
传说中你为爱甘心被搁浅
我也可以为你
潜入海里面
怎么忍心断绝
忘记我不变的誓言
我眼泪断了线
现实里有了我对你的眷恋
我愿意化作雕像
等你出现
再见再也不见
心碎了飘荡在海边
你抬头就看见
19/02/06 12:38
19/02/06
18/02/06
Fun-O-Rama. shit la it was damn fun. n damn sian. waaa so tired i dunno wat im writing la.
got sch at 710 ( ya la mum din want to wake me up, took 5 alarms and one hp alarm n still overslept), set up store till arnd like...dunno...9? Ya den anw sian at the store till dunno when, nobody come play the game one =(.
Went around the sch wif KEN and Jacintha, or jacinda, cant rmb which is the real name n which is the fake one. Ken only made about 400m before forgetting he was walking wif us, getting caught up wif some frens and then disappearing into the crowd. So left me and jacin(tha/da) lol, walk around some more den go bac food store, den go wif sijie to c the rockets, den haf to go mrt fetch opb. Then come back, time for my shift liao, left opb while he was sucking down a bowl of laksa and made my way back thru the crowd to the stall. siannnnnnnnnnnnn lol 2 hours passed so slowly~!.
OPB U DIN GO FETCH LY! wahhhhhhhhhhhh. sian diao. siann diao.
den go around the place wif richie, oh ya i went rockets 4 times, din even get close to the mark tho wthhhh. den went back store, quite alot of ppl coming in =)! got one ex-PE head of acj, he played and got 8/9 balls in WALAU damn pro at throwing the tennis balls la he owned the game =S. Gave him soft toys to reward him/bribe him to leave the store b4 he win evrything.
den go haunted house, waste $$ one! NOT SCARY ONE~!
den i went back store for my shift, now raining heavily so nobody coming liao, can slack! slept on the drain covers for half hour, so shuang =P!
den break store le, smashed the boards and carried the barricades back to sports complex wif sijie n michael, tiring!
chopchop pack up, help out a little bit at the supermarket and den go je wif sb6 for dinner. attendence for dis claz outing: 5/26. claz spirit all time high sia, last time go west mall all pon. relative improvement.
now at home, got a few things to say.
-sorry for coming late!
-sorry for not helping out enuff!
-jacin(tha/da) sorry i pangseh u to go c rockets, sorry!
-sijie sorry i pangseh u to go fetch pb, sorry!
-pb sorry i pangseh u go my shift, sian im sorry.
-leeyang sorry i din go find u, pls forgive me!
-richie sorry i din go find u earlier, sorry again!
-game com pple sorry i slept so long!
lol shit la 2dae let so many pple down, shitshitshit.
i going nj! i dowanna leave my ac frens! i nid find perfume! lol.
cya^^
18/02/06 14:28
18/02/06
16/02/06
shit day shit sch. shit life.
fun-o-rama coming. come my store n make my day k!
cya.
16/02/06 14:58
16/02/06
14/02/06
same old shit, same old accusations.
knn wad u want me to do?!
14/02/06 13:38
14/02/06
14/02/06
i miss 4c. i miss 2a, miss rv, miss comclub. damn.
got stopped by a phy teacher in school 2dae, for not wearing an ac badge. he took my EZlink pass, asked me to go find a badge, and come c him after school. N din give me his name when i asked for it, saying instead i should remember wat he looks like and find him without aid. wtf.
So bought a badge, went c him, n he refused to gimme my card back, saying i would just take the badge off after sch, so he demanded i come back after an hour and then i could leave the school. and blew off my insistence i was dismissed, saying it was punishment for my actions. WTF.
so had to crap about having cca, he bought it n i ZHAO out of ac wif frens, took the damn badge off the moment i was past the school gates.
knn. oh yeah fell aslp in phy lect, got picked out by the teacher. so fun sia.
but my date rocked =D. thx for the presents leeyang!
ok wat a wild day, cya~
14/02/06 12:57
14/02/06
11/02/06
i really did it this time. Put in hard work, made up for the past, got the 8pts that i wished for. I thought i would b happier here, now; it all seemed so stupid that i ever thought gd grades would equate to happiness.
i have to decide whether or not to leave ac. I might make nj; then again, i mite not. And the horror stories of nj mugging syndrome epidemic(s) are scarier than a visit from sadako. Symptoms include: outbreak of study-hard-dun-play-juz-keep-mugging-i-love-mugging attitude, rash copying of notes from any frens hu LOOK like they haf more notes than the afflicted person, in common cases infected victims flock to the library to "mug", in fact they seek a more conducive enviroment to continue their campaign of "enlightenment" of free-willed laggy people.
ac isnt really that hot either. I still dun like ( verging on hate) my claz, and the only people i noe arent too hot on chatting either, just mostly stone and feign interest in lectures and tutorials. If not for squash, shooting and 4c pple and some other apollo and nanhua n clementi sec pple i can get along wif (verging on frens, but not quite yet), i'd pack my bags for nj without a moment of hesitation.
I'm torn. guess i juz haf t pick the lesser of two evils.
Did i mention i went out wif some nanhua peeps after shooting on thurs? I dun think so...well anw i had loads of fun at dinner, i havent had a gd normal unpretensious conversation wif any ac pple up till then. And ode-san, u havent changed tt much.
Except now u think hamburgler is CUTE and HILARIOUS.
I went out wif ___ and ___ to _____ _______ 2dae, ___ wanted to get a ___ for ___. All in all, a pretty fun day choosing ___ ____s for our respective ____s.
Heavily edited and censored to let this blog maintain a (G) grade. I din blog abt any vday gift shopping trip 2dae, nope. clean hands and innocent looks all around. Tis U, reader, who has to decide for urself whether i really did go out with 2 frens to get vday pressies. And u'll nv noe for sure, i'll take my secret to the grave muahahahahaha.
suddenly v high, sry -.-"
cool pic anw.
emptiness is felt, more than it is seen.
i miss you.
cya pple~
11/02/06 13:29
11/02/06
10/02/06
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
[Chorus]
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know
10/02/06 14:29
10/02/06
10/02/06
i got an 8 for l1r5.
I cant help.
I feel terrible.
10/02/06 14:26
10/02/06
04/02/06
Am feeling incredibly fatigued rite now, its like smth's pressing down on my shoulders, trying to crush my brain...so i'm juz gonna spill out all my thots on dis n3, not even gonna link the following rants.
My fren remarked:" some pple are born luckier than others, these lucky pple haf a better life n better chances at winning competitions, these lucky pple lead normal happy lives...but i'm not a lucky one....haiya i hate myself..." Kinda strange, understanding how they feel, but not understanding how they express their feelings.
Juz wtf do u want me to do? I come home n u scold me for being so late, shld rush home to study. Den after i study i relac n u say i lag, den if i study all the time u say i nv do enuf hw n nw haf to mug. I mean WTF do u want me to do, if evrything i do is wrong to u??
Oh dammit now the shit hits the fan. JAE's coming out, i haf zero hope of ever making hc cuz i juz noe i've flopped El n Geog.
Ever get the feeling tt ur on different wavelengths when ur chatting? For most, yes... But try chatting on a wildly ossicillating wavelength u cant tune in to.
Music has always been my refuge and my solace. The one sanctuary from my world is within swirling rhythms and the story of a song, the one place whr i cna predict exactly wat line, wat notes r gonna come next. The one place i can feel at home in. Whr stillness, unchained notes become sweet chaos in motion. Static chaos; calm in the eye of a storm.
I'm not staying in ac. SA if i dun make NJ, JJ if i dun make SA. Juz get me outta here.
I've been meaning to get new jeans for a month now. A MONTH... shit la im so damn gd at procrastinating.
Shooting rox, nothing makes u concentrate like a trigger to pull and a target to hit. Thiam dun gif up k, practise makes perfect. ( nobody's perfect...so.....practise for wad?)
A little nugget of my thoughts here: i dun think life can ever be ideal. U might think some other way...but i c life as one dark forest path; choices as forks in the path, twisting out of sight into the dark unknown, u nv noe if the end of ur path is gonna b as dark as the rest of the forest. I dun think i'm really gonna b clever/smart/"lucky" enuff to take the best paths, the ones leading to clearings in the forest, the ones with sunlight streaming in, keeping the dark at bay. Ur gonna make some mistakes along the way, some bad paths tt u'll take. Its all a matter of picking ur path n accepting whr it leads, accept the imperfection of ur choice and learn to live in hope tt one day, u'll chance upon a bright, springtime meadow, and b happy there, at least until u haf to move on to the next fork in the road.
I dun really recall a period whr i've been without a worry, save for those carefree sec1/2 days. Strangely comforting knowing i've lived wif my newest worries/fears for quite some time now, and they haven't come to pass. not yet, anw...but tts my bitter, pessimistic side speaking.
People change....in a way i've lost some frens these few past months, what wif JCs and Os and holidays and all. Shit...its like meeting a whole sde of someone u thot u knew, onli now u find ur barely scratching the surface of his character. Time gives, and time takes.
What would i do if i could turn the clock back? Revisit 2a? Maybe take a trip back to 2a and 4c chalets, whr i had so much fun? Hell...maybe make a different decision somewhere, sometime, and now i could be a whole new happier person?
And then u realise, life doesnt deal wif "what if"s.
Thought is cheap.
I hate how often i pick myself up to try, juz so i can fail again, and try again. The spirit of "what if i tried again" never holds up long in my life.
I laughed hysterically when i read the latest Pendragon book...i couldn't help chortling at how unbelievably familiar(and predictable, u get a lot of this stuff in kdramas) Bobby's confession to Loor was. The same old shit, the same old lines. Again, the wierd feeling of " Your fresh furies are my ancient mistakes". Same old pitfall, same old feelings, but a whole other person going thru wat u experienced so long ago. Making the very choices u regretted making. And nothing u can do to convince them not to walk down the same path u took and suffered on.
HAHA how old n wise i sound =P...
Another convo:
Guy A: so u got ur valentine date yet?
B: i got stead la, asshole. u got ask ur target out yet?
A: ya, i ask her out liao. she said shes up for the movie.
B: ur fucking me! how the hell did u ask a gal so chio out?
A: u gotta haf groove~~ man...be a man, do the right thing!
B: aw fuck up, ur one lucky asshole, u barely noe her character n u onli like her looks anw.
A: ya, but at least i wun be going out wif some ugly 'inner beauty' gf on feb14!
B: fuk u.
A: fuk u rite bak.
-.-"
Screw it, r looks really tt impt?
Hitler looks macho, would u say he's a nice guy?
Note: dun u think bimbo gals tend to look better?
Note2: my frens pick gal cuz they look chio, and they barely even noe her personality. Looks can win hearts more easily than personality..does tt mean onli bimbos get picked up?
Gotta keep the despair at bay, life in ac resumes in 30hrs.
there's always a silver lining, all u have to do is look up.
cya~
04/02/06 16:11
04/02/06
02/02/06
i averaged a grand total of 2 sentences spoken to a non-rv sb6 clazmate HAHA life sux.
02/02/06 10:34
02/02/06
30/01/06
erm yah juz noticed alot of msges on the taggie...i'll edit out the mushy stuff k.
sry.
30/01/06 16:05
30/01/06
23/01/06
My chemical romance - the ghost of you
I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...
Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
If I fall
If I fall (down)
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...
23/01/06 10:18
23/01/06
20/01/06
blearghhhs im so tired. 2dae went wif 4c to settlers cafe, play game_of_life n betrayal_on_the_hill which kiat totally sucked at. Total life savings of kiat at end of GoL= $50k
Total lifesavings of thiamhong=$700k.
Haha kiat mite b atheletic but his business sense sux big time.
B.o.t.H. quite fun sia, explore haunted house plus shuhui killed kiat with a gun in the basement level la LOL kiat ended up sianned n pissed n utterly dudiaoed tt he sucked at both games.
Den go clementi for dinner n go BigBookShop(pb replaces 'k' wif 'b', horny nj pple sia...)
thiamhong warns of acsi vs rv-guys war, apparently they hate us for nt being "chivalrious". i tap out, where is the love?? Why The Fighting???!!!
sunday gt og outing =D!!
zzz i miss leeyang!
cyaz!
20/01/06 15:12
20/01/06
18/01/06
juz got my claz 2dae...1sb6, its quite alright la. 8 rvians, we totally dominated the elections for class reps n fun-o-rama committee. OWNAGE.
Kena owned by a wing jun at strategic games club 2dae, juz realised my international chess SUX n for all my playing i've barely gotten past the novice stage.
[all u do is hurt those around u. if u cant say anything nice, dun say anything at all. but den again, u never did n never will care abt hurting ur frens]
things r looking up, my fiath in life is restored. =D
Chasing the stars again; forever out of reach. Haha guess tts my lot in life.
cyaz.
18/01/06 13:27
18/01/06
16/01/06
currently nursing a bruised knuckle, sore feet,a motherfucker of a headache n a shattered selfconfidence. wad fucked up day.
i dowanna talk abt it. juz plain fuck.
16/01/06 12:49
16/01/06
12/01/06
Like a sian la, dun really feel like blogging, but anw here i am. Been a really sian 2 days in ac, lectures suck la, the LT so dark n cooling den the lecturers all got voices tt guarantee drowsiness within 5mins of listening to them drone abt wadever they teach. suxxx....
OG damn lag, 2dae half of them juz stone in the canteen n the other half eat snacks, so fun sia.
Os r out nxt month 13th or 10th i think, im really dreading getting it back, i juz noe i flopped evrything n im gonna go jj or smth. Nt tt i care much, juz wondering how im gonna live wif myself for flopping.
[a little more than make belief/when all my skies are painted blue][when all the clouds dun ever change/the shape of who i am to you]
__galinmyog__ got picked up LOL. By acsi boys, predictably.
4c owned acsi 3v4, 20+kills to 4. OWNAGE. Rv pple r not nerd, we juz like to act nerd so u never see us coming for u in dota or sports or acad.
{to die happy, live happy}
I love u leeyang! =D
miss u!
cyaz pple.
12/01/06 14:19
12/01/06
09/01/06
OMG. OMG. Pic of the year.
Capturing thiam hong in a rare moment of furrowed brow n deep thoughts, his dour looks perfectly balanced by his suggestive unbuttoning of his jacket.
Im set to take this year's Pulitzer(s)!
Besides dis pic, was a pretty sian day. OG dissipated within half an hr of lectures, RV gang went off to play bball, n anw was feeling pretty antisocial so din really feel inclined to join them, instead hung out wif Sam abit, den thiam n choo n enhua. Lectured sucked, all they did was tell us the syllabus n some stupid "study tips" tt we cld haf found on any Psch textbook.
N chapel wasnt as bad as i thot it'd be, n there was a rather thought-provoking piece on letting ur past mistakes go n moving on.
Since im uploading pics anyway...
looks like a pai kia rite? Or a major baddie in the sopranos.
haha a pic of ly making a stupid face. GOLDFISH!
Lastly, but sure as hell nt least...
So pretty la!! =D
Missing u loads, leeyang!
I gtg, pple. Cya tmr, 4c!
09/01/06 14:09
09/01/06
08/01/06
grkkkkkkk rainrainrain i HATE RAIN.
Evrything's so cold n wet n dreary n tired n it makes u wanna curl up n sleep till ur toes drop off and the bitter wind blows into ur bedroom and makes u shiver in ur sleep and u cant go out to soccer or bball or juz go out to hang out cos u'll get drenched.
SO GO AWAY, RAIN. Wad happened to SUNday?!
It nv gets easy.
ZZZ miss u loads, leeyang!
blearghhh its still raining.....
cya pple.
08/01/06 04:00
08/01/06
07/01/06
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain A guitar and a stereo
while he wishes he could escape this
it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie is a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she's never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
No...
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you'll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you'll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you'll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you'll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
07/01/06 14:53
07/01/06
06/01/06
Enjoy.
Dammit its always so hard. Choices and decisions and its alwaz fat tt plays me a cruel hand.
Jigsaw puzzle’, find the pieces tt complete ur puzzle, except now all the pieces fit, but the picture u form is screwed and doesn’t fit U.
Temptation, always present, always mocking me for my ideals and my values and everything that I think I am but its always me who realizes im nt the person I c in the mirror, im a whole other person whos never really seen the light of day.
Freedom, but im NOT free. Tied down, all becos of u SICK ASSHOLES hu seem intent on bonding, on keeping together, on hanging out n b seen as the rv gang. Act cool but ur not, act dao but ur juz loner, act joking but everything u say hurts, trying to poke fun but ending up pissing others off, all becos of ur fucked up mentality and ur screwed up view on wad a guy shld b like, except all you’ve ever known is the facade, the cool guy u project, the cool guy that shielded u in rv, and now u dun c tt mayb nows the time to b a fren, not that act dao twin tt ive known for2 yrs. U knew I wanted to take 4 h2,, n all u did when I found out I cldnt take the 4th cos my grades suk was LAUGH IN MY FACE.
Im nt even gonna swear at u, juz gonna tell u to get the FUCK out of my life n stop being such total assholes.
On 2nd thots, FUCK U ASSHOLES, ur here to stay, aren’t u. uve alwaz been rite here, where I nv wanted u to b anw.
N FOR FUCKS SAKE will ZH pls get the fuck out of my sight, ur juz screwing arnd wif my head n messing up stuff n thots I sorted out ages ago. N now everythings juz messed up n painful n guilty n hopeful n im pissed wif myself n u n guilty and FOR FUCKS SAKE JUZ GO. I wish id nv met u.
FUCK. im rite whr I knew id b, but nths wad I imagined it would b like. FUCK.
06/01/06 17:52
06/01/06
06/01/06
AC Orient campfire was fun=D.
Finally found a few frens.....ok la nt frensm juz acquaintances, but still feeling btr nw cuz at least im nt totally a loner in AC.
Thx to all the OGLs for the time they took to show us the ropes, n really thx to Apollo for the fun 4 days of Orient we had.
Go gal go, __guy__ is ripe for the taking
Ok la its damn late now, the Orient mass dance was really fun, din really wanna leave but OGmates all slacked their way home early...so no choice la, had to tap out too. TIRED.
For fuck's sake, get the hell away from me!
cyaz pple, i'll put in another n3 tmr(well, 2dae actually...) if i can wake up before midnite. Stay cool.
06/01/06 17:34
06/01/06
05/01/06
It never rains; it pours.
2dae was a really trying day.
1)gt rejected.......BY A GUY LA, U TINK IM DOUBLE-TIMING ISIT!! haha no la, was juz trying to start a chat but gt dao-ed instead. How encouraging it is to feel u've accomplished nothing.
2)yet another prophesy of doom from ac-hater senior, im feeling very apprehensive abt chapel suddenly.
3)RAIN. RAIN. Y DA F**K does it keep raining whenever Apollo goes out to the field to play games?! SIAN LA din play bucketball!
Yea but anw the guy i was gg to try to chat wif was.....lets juz say he turned out to b brash n overly loud by the end of the day.....so....im telling myself hes nt wad im looking for in a fren anw.
Den again, i can tell tt im lying to myself to make it hurt less. Kinda sux.
Tmr is a new day.
cyaz.
05/01/06 13:22
05/01/06
04/01/06
2nd day was sianning, can be summed up in a word: WET.
a)soapy musical chairs + starchy caterpillar chairs(u noe, the one whr u stand on chairs n pass the last chair to the front to move forward)
b)RAIN. RAIN.RAIN. 'nuff said.
c)MUD. Hand soccer wif oranges was fun. Cept tt the mud was...well, muddy. -.-
Signed on for rec tennis, shooting, hockey, lifeguard and com design trials, tell me im not the most enthu ACJ1 around.
3 observations.
1)_gal__is so obviously gunning for _guy_. Its like painfully clear. Kudos to __guy__ for being so oblivious, or uninterested, or juz playing hard to get.
2)I noe myself too well, to the point tt i can spell out to u which parts of my psyche led me to a particular decision.
eg. antisocial behaviour in Apollo
->common intepretation: tt guy is a loner n act cool one la, juz ignore him.
->my psyche: since i cant pull off frenliness without seeming sarcastic, i'll juz befrend whoever's willing to try me.
BEST, i can either try to b frenly n be seen as a caustic asshole or a quiet loner.
3)Shall have to watch out for further thawing, self-analysis suggests that getting frenly AGAIN=getting hurt AGAIN. Pity im nt "once bitten, twice shy".
Oh yeah n i saw kakeru!! Funny how after all these years, he's changed, but still has tt feel of kakeru-ishness about him.
qn: how the hell do i connect wif my OG mates? Shld i even bother? Isnt ac supposed to b a stopover for me?
Future looms like a car on a foggy road; silent, unclear, inevitable. U see if coming, noe its coming, juz tt the fog makes it unclear as to when its coming.
Den u run smack into tt car, pain n confusion; n its crystal clear wad u cld haf done, shld haf done;, but its too late, its over; another car looms but ur still berating urself over the one u juz hit.
Repeat.
ok im off to lag the nite away....sian day agin tmr, talks n talks till 1030. bez to all my frens in jc, missing the brudderhood, cyaz soon.
04/01/06 13:28
04/01/06
03/01/06
Hm ac orientation in its 1st day....okok la. By 11am alr saw.....abt 5 Psch frens, damn freaky how we left off at P6 and now have to reconcile.
AC song came as a surprise, never in my wildest dreams did i foresee it wld b so....inspiring(in a religious sort of way i nv expected). and sung by a bunch of chior peeps too...sounded gr8 n lyrics were quite meaningful too, christian allusions aside.
Sat next to dis gal in morning assembly, didn't really find anything familiar abt her until she popped the question:" Are u yihong?"*giggle+sheepish grin*. DUDIAO! 1st reaction: look around frantically for a banner, perhaps pasted on my shirt front, shouting my name in bright pink letters for all to marvel at. 2nd reaction" eh y no banner......?" FINALLY took a 2nd glance n thot "eh she looks familiar.....JODEE?!".
AND SHI YAN. Tho i really dun rmb shi yan, my brain went AWOL n refused to report for work 2dae.
Was intro-ed to my OG, Apollo, under the main OG of Carnsfir(dunno how to spell+pronouce tt, i juz go "carnssseeyer" during cheers), wif OGLs natasha, lydia and edward. My AWOL brain failed to absorb any names at Whacko, shall rattle off all tt i noe: joy sam [justin n ean]=>(acsi pair hu vanished after lunch) a "smth boon" a si hui and there mite b an audrey somewhere in the OG too, sue my brain k, nt me.
Lagged around for the rest of the day, played various games, most of which were "okok", to quote leeyang, plus learned a nice dance from edward(any dance wif pon de replay as the track works for me). Pity im too tall to easily find a partner, sian la. Shall turn up stag at the mass dance on fri, if indeed mass dance is on fri.
Wrapped up my 1st day in ac wif mass rally, cheer like hyperactive kids on andrenalin highs. Then it was off to 4c dinner at jec, hectic schedule really wore me out. Along the way choo mentioned tt his OGL hinted of sublimal messaging hidden in the sch song to brainwash unsuspecting J1s, tts wad i call CRAP.
I'll stuff cotton in my ears come assembly tmr, juz in case.
Wish U wldnt care so much, ITS NOT UR BUSINESS N I DIN ASK FOR UR ADVICE. (hint: dun mention it again)
tired out n gtg, cyaz all.
03/01/06 14:22
03/01/06
31/12/05
THE FUTURE IS HERE!!
HAPPY 2006 EVRYONE!!
31/12/05 15:59
31/12/05
31/12/05
So...its the year end. Guess u pple deserve a nice long entry as a belated xmas pressie lol.
2005 is/was.....beyond words. A really trying year, sec4 workload coupled with some unforeseen problems like scandal plus grudge plus Os plus prelims flopping. Was quite a heck of a ride la, 2005...compared to it 2004 was a walk in the park. Made friends, lost friends, changed priorities, tried to act hip but failed......compared to 2004: go school evryday and go home......matured alot dis year.
<-Frens->
2a gang
yibo:haha a nice guy la...juz dun so horny can liao lol. Shall alwaz rmb AH HUAT.
qingsheng:bo chup kia, got l1r5=7 la wtf...kill u den u noe....eh no need, sooner or later ur gg to die on the pitch anyway, run so much lol.
lerxian:joke joke laugh laugh...alwaz brings cheer to the gang. Juz keep in mind sometimes nid serious k, dun go overboard.
yongsoon:haha so tall n thin, leg so long, soccer dribbling v pro but cnot finish...take care k. N all e bez to u n deb!
pengbo:18yrs old alr...haha hope u start acting like one soon, dun let pple say ur childish.
junjie:waaa so big muscle sia, somemore so tanned n shuai. HUNK-IN-THE-MAKING. All the bez to u n winnie!
jianrong:lol dunnoe u tt much la, so far in 4yrs din talk to u much....but will alwaz rmb u splitting ur pants during soc, somemore got damn loud ripping sound la LOL.
roy:blur like wad...grad nite act cool/blur/hip, wear singlet, den use jacket cover up lol. Sec2 joke wif u tt oven blow up... den u really go home....best la u. Haha hope u get a life soon, dun so nerd+blur can?
nina:haha the ATM. v nice gal, alwaz organise bbq for 2a pple one, thx for all the fun times k. AZMAN ROX!
sylvia:hmm u gif gd advice, rmb to keep ur head up n look to the future, dun dwell on the past. dun mug so much k, relac abit n enjoy life. you're not alone
4c peeps
thiammie:haha the short n violent one. Fav phrase:" Shut the f**k up!" RELAC la.....shortie! lol.
shuming: DUN SO LAG CAN.......one day ur going to fall off ur chair if u continue to slp in clz/lecture...hope u bruise ur butt when u do.
jinghao:funky chai. funky sox. chem freak/genius/scientist/nerd/enthusiast. alwaz turns up in desert camouflage for clz outing...but purple sox wtf...dun b so eccentric! but then again eccentricity is wad makes u a fun guy.
chooqi:wahaha nicknames abound for u. Hunter choo, malaysian choo, plugpuller choo, NAN choo (qi)....lol la all round nice guy. happy to haf u as a fren.
gabchua: hmmm guess i tot i knew u well eunff....din turn out ok tho. i c myself in u n think ura gd fren, yet cant bring myself to forgive u. mayb in in ac i will, eventually....
elgin/NAMOBUDDHA: gaming so hiong, studies so hiong, sports so hiong. u can achieve anything u set ur mind to...all the bez for the future.
jiawei: hm u've alwaz been an outcast, n im truly sorry for anything i mite haf done to hurt u. ur a damn pro nerd, juz rmb there's more to life than studies k.
joel: ahas one of the bez frens i've made dis year, hope u manage to, in ur words, "get a life" k. all e bez n thx for understanding.
ivan:lol wierd dude, dun talk so much abt politics n gaming, how abt sports?
victor:hip dude, pro gamer n the gossip king. dun spam scandal la lol.
henry: outcast, but seriously i dun c y the gals esp maga n cat hate him so much. let prejudices die la.
junquan: strong silent sort, din talk to u much in 2 yrs. studies v pro, in clz alwaz very attentive one. all e bez for u n sot.
peckboon:RACIST LA U. start riot den u noe. haha nxt yr wun c u alr, at the risk of sounding gay im gg to say i gg to miss ur company.
kiat:haha b more open la, dun so secretive. 2 yrs liao, all i noe abt u is tt u like gaming. SOCIALISE!
guanhoe:haha cool guy. black like kopi!
yuxing: pro cs, pro studies, juz dun so AP can liao.
special
leeyang: ur the bez thing tts happened to me dis yr, love u alwaz. Smuacks.=D
<-end->
haha i've been meaning to do tt for quite awhile now, juz din find a gd enuf reason to get all sentimental.
All of 2005, i've been thinking of 2006 as 'the future'. Mainly my vision of the future is a happy, suntanned me, prefably muscular, wif some new frens in ac. LOL like tt wld ever happen. Now tt the new year is here, tt future now seems rather childish and immature. And impossible.
Gone are the days where i believed in happy endings, good-guy-saves-the-day stories. 2005 really changed me, i trust less, doubt more, im more prone to bouts of depression nowadays.......
haha but i've found new rsns to hope too. New frenships surfaced while old ones faded, i've fallen in love, n maybe i've realised tt life isn't all it seemed to b when i was in sec3. N i've realised tt tho i may fail to succeed, i can still hold true to my principles if i never fail to try.
resolutions:
1. get a job, temp, flyers, i dun care
2. stay commited to leeyang
3. make new frens in ac, n try to fit in
4. never stop trying
5. NAPFA gold(haha as if)
6. studies.....juz give my all n c how far i can go in JC1
7. keep in touch wif 2a + 4c+ comclub+ peps pple
haha 7 is a lucky number, so i'll stop here. needless to say i'll b happy if i achieve half of them. but num2 muzmuzmuz achieve at all costs.
zzz wishing evyrone all e bez for the new year, and the future. CHALLENGE EVERYTHING!
31/12/05 14:13
31/12/05
30/12/05
Ok lah 2dae went sentosa, pretty darn.....wats the word.....ah yes:SUNBURNT now. Saw lotsa pretty boys n bikini babes, its no wonder im having low self-esteem now.
Anw nth much to blog abt la, most of it was fun but lag n thus nt worthy of mention. Excluding a torturous kayak trip wif zongxiao tt went very badly....bored my ass off. Plus zongxiao capsized the kayak ltr when gablee was on it, sparking off a looong argument over whether the capsize was planned. Strange way we haf of bonding while perpetually bickering over inane stuff.
Funnily everything's different when ur committed, if u noe wad i mean. Priorities change, cliques move down a rung in the ladder of importance, ur other half moves up. I tink i pissed lots of pple off wif my recent behaviour.....ya la i noe its nt v nice to feel less impt, but....face it, it u pple can't grow up, im sure as hell nt gg to wait around for u all to. But for wat it's worth, u pple r the bez, n really sry if i found smth tt means so much more to me. hoping u will understand.
Grrkkkkk love hurts =S. Cyaz all.
30/12/05 16:03
30/12/05
27/12/05
there's a gap.....event horizon?
zzz wads gg to happen?
27/12/05 15:58
27/12/05
27/12/05
Brain in overdrive.
mind going nowhere.
My train of thought must haf derailed.
27/12/05 15:25
27/12/05
25/12/05
MERRY XMAS EVRYONE!!!!!
even tho im nt a christian......
Bah wad the hell...7 days to the end of the hols, how fast time flies.... Chalet went past like a speeding train, gifthunting and 4c outing were like blurs, yesterday was hectic n frenzied and laid back and romantic.......hahah my life is a potpuorri of fun and sianness.
Last nite had dis bad dream abt ACJC...was like orientation and the auditorium i was in collpased, fire n blood evrywhere, wad the hell la....
Wahaha went out wif peckboon on thurs, needed company for gifthunting...if i knew wad would happen that day i would haf picked a more.....reliable......hunting partner.
A short list of what went wrong:
1) supposed to go to queensway from JE....den pb tot it was 143 that was the direct bus to queensway, so happily sat aboard the wrong damn bus packed with PRCs yakking away in heavily accented chinese for an hour until we arrived at TAKA.....total flop la. So got off and screwed around in orchard for 2hrs, went the annex shops n saw RV pple, i swear u can go anywhere in singapore without being spotted by some RV acquaintance. Ah yes and btw peckboon was dressed like this :
kampong style.....
And here's pb giving me the one-finger salute:
wahaha juz be glad the hand was moving.
2) Den got to somerset mrt, took the train to commonwealth, cuz pb's mysterious fren says from rv can take a direct bus to queensway....so we waited..and waited....and den the bus came!!!!.....so we happily got on.
Naturally chatty pb askd the uncle if the bus goes to queensway.....dis was the response:" HAH? ORH the bus that go to queenwaaay ar.....wrong side wrong side liao....u muz go cross the road!"
So we happily obeyed the charismatic uncle and crossed the road......and waited somemore.......den FINALLY the bus came. Noob around from 1-4, in the end still haven't reached queensway. Z!
3) Finally got to queensway...bought the ______for _____, den pb had dis insane idea to walk to queensway mrt, so we walk la. IN the words of pb himself " Very easy one! Just walk in a straight line can reach liao!" Genius.
Only problem was, we din noe whr the aforementioned straight line began. So we asked a nice helpful uncle, who gave us some nice helpful advice..."HAH u boys want to walk to queensway mrt ar.....i think very far leh, at least 2-3 km.....ya u walk towards that direction"--he points to a block of flats--"can reach liao. I tink muz turn left somewhere ar.....aiya happy walking"
wtf.......-.-"
So fine la! WALK! Walk i for like 15mins in the prescribed direction, agar agar made "THE left turn"---into the nearest void deck; it had started to rain---and ended up facing a block of condos. Simply perfect.
And who was it that saved the day? Yours truly la! Made pb retrace our route back to queensway, den pointed out a barely visible sliver of mrt track from in front of queensway, den made him hike all the way up the road. And get this: it was a straight line, and it WAS a left turn...oh yea but it was like only 1km...mega-screwed perception of distance the uncle had.
Wahaha had to stop for "refreshments" halfway there....actually juz for kicks cos walk so much n very bored. Discovered some blardy ulu 7-11 secreted next to a furniture shop and a pet shop....its like 7-11 knew that, one fine day, 2 starved, fatigued and bored boys would pop by and buy one measly tub of hottis.....and it was raining all the time too....so the we recieved acid rain-flavoured dip for free.
Den went clementi arcade, played virtua cop 3 till fingers went numb from smashing the trigger, den pia home for dinner.
Pic of the day: the evil eye+guai lan face
Zzz la, gg out to cousins house. And thx for the jellies hor leeyang, love u loads!
cyaz all.
25/12/05 06:38
25/12/05
25/12/05
zzz damn lazy to type now.....guess i'll post an n3 ltr...
In the meantime....
Five--closer to me
Constantly girl you're on my mind,
And girl I think about you all of the time
And even though words are hard to say,
Girl I miss you... never thought I'd feel this way.
BRIDGE
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking,
So why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling... it's you I believe in,
Baby can't you see that I need you?
CHORUS
(You know that it's true...)
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
(You know that it's you...)
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.
(You know that it's true...)
Every now and then I want to call you baby.
(You know that it's you...)
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.
(Oh yeah...)
Life ain't anything alone can't you see?
You're an angel in my eyes,
Everyday you're closer to me.
Nobody's there when I call your name, (ah, ah)
And nights are cold girl without your flame.
(Nights are cold girl, without your flame...)
But if I could girl I'd make you see. (I'd make you see, yeah)
That I'm sorry, and that I need you here with me.
BRIDGE
CHORUS
Every day reminisce with the past,
of a love that we thought would last.
How we used to be when it was you and me.
How did it all disappear so fast?
There are days that I can't forget
there are things that I now regret.
I was there for you when you were there for me, and I was thinkin' we were set.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed
I hear your voice going round in my head,
Think of all the things I could have done and all those things I could have said.
I really will make it up to you
I know now what I've got to do,
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you.
CHORUS x 1
CHORUS x 2
25/12/05 03:35
25/12/05
18/12/05
Heh 1 day to chalet....zzz la...tml still gotta go buy the bbq stuff at IMM...
Oh yea does anyone noe where simin went, cos she dropped off the face of the earth a month ago, nobody's been able to find her.
In a pisspoor mood 2dae, total fucked-up state of mind. Maybe there is some truth in rumours that excessive gaming may cause psychological problems. But i doubt that's the cause of my current caustic-ness.
Pengbo's been trying to psycho me into going to his church..wtf... Singing to me the benefits of faith and the usual "juz come, u'll enjoy it one" lines. Ahaha and kudos to him for getting leeyang into the church, he'll pbly haf another gd reason for me to join cityharvest tml.
Frankly im nt into the faith thing...all religions r the same to me anw. Worship this, worship that, and for the time u take to pray to whoever ur religious icon is, you get repaid in the afterlife by eternal happiness, or eternal life or eternal something. Im pretty darn neutral about religion; i COULD be a devout christian or buddhist or hindu or islamic believer, but the truth is i juz don't see wat a differece my faith will make. Sure, having an all-mighty omnipotent being watching over you may be reassuring, but that's just plain BULLSHIT; to seek comfort in the belief that your worries will be over soon BEAUSE YOU BELIEVE in a superior force is living in a fool's paradise.
And while i'm at it, i wanna allow myself to wonder y it is that cityharvest has so much cash on hand to hire rappers and build new churches. You'd think that a church would be devoted to helping the needy first, not spreading the faith through organising FUN sunday mass and FUN carnivals and easily understood bible studies and who knows wat other things that potray the church as a young and trendy and hip place to be and entice youngsters to join. In my opinion, going to church just cos its FUN is just so plain WRONG.
I'm not being accusatory here, just allowing my mind to wander. But consider why you believe 1st, before going to ur place of worship; do you truly want to believe, or do you seek to find comfort in believeing that your allmight god will eventually right the wrongs in your life?
18/12/05 07:57
18/12/05
13/12/05
walan wad a sian 2 days.
Dunno anything abt anything animore.
One heck of a confusing 2 days...talked alot...but....
Nothing seems to b alrite animore...
nth i do turns out right.
13/12/05 15:46
13/12/05
12/12/05
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have
If you believe it's in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own
(On my own!)
I tried to...
I tried to be perfect
It just wasn't...
It just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so...
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to...
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets...
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that...
I guess I knew that all along
If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own.
12/12/05 11:56
12/12/05
12/12/05
omg...i dunno wtf i've been doing all of last week. It's like my mind is a complete blur,cant rmb much of anything at all. OK shall try to recount, but dun hold out too much hope tt my memories will miraculously return.
errr...last monday...i tink i stayed home. Did i stay home? arghhhhhhh my brain is dead.
Tuesday i rmb clearly, i went out wif 2a peeps to play soccer. N jrchan ripped his shorts so much the yalam gang we were up against cld pbly haf seen his sexy cotton undies frm a mile away. N there was dis incredible tearing sound too lol.
Wednesday went out to dinner wif ly n thiammie, den walked arnd tiongbahru plaza for dunno hw long cos there was nth better to do at home anw. Relaxed day all in all.
Thurs...nt sure was happened, haf a vague memory of gaming all day tho....yep tts pbly the day my com died.
Fri...went out all day wif ly, i tink wandered arnd singapore searching for a perlini's bracelet...dropped by causeway pt n nearly gt my knees rammed by a running toddler who cldnt see a 1.8m tall guy in front of him...blind as a bat...den came home to find my com sent for servicing by dad, so no com for 5 days...
Sat i had my wisdom tooth removed, was like blardy scary listening to tt crazy dentist chisel n pull my tooth out, went home bleeding like some bomb blast victim...haha n was stuck wif eating porridge all day wtf, FAMINE CONDITIONS.
Sunday stay at home, so damn sian la. No com no ly no life.
So nw juz lagging arnd online, watching mtvs n playing miniclip. My entertainment options like shit... But anw found a nice song..actually found it long ago but the mtv rox, really gives the song new meaning.
<html>
<bgsound src="http://www.mtv.com/bands/az/3_doors_down/artist.jhtml#" loop=1>
</html>
I dunno wad i shld do...its too late to get a job, too late to take up karate lessons, too late to start planning another 2a outing to sentosa...stuck at home till tml at least...
sianzzz la i gotta find my life again.
N mayb i juz realised tt 4c chalet wld be the last time i wld get to spend 3 days wif my 4c gang, 3 days away frm pressure n stress n parents n home. Call me pessimistic, but i feel tt the fun i had during those 3 days can nv be felt again. Things r gonna change big time nxt yr...i hope 2a n 4c can still stick together, but judging frm past experience with PEPS pple, we're juz gonna drift apart in the wide ocean of life.
I'm still hoping i can make nj in the first 3 mnths, but i dun place too much hope on tt front...missed the nj entry marks by 2pts...nt much hope is there? So i'll pbly be seperated frm the bulk of rvians gg into nj...n my seniors tell me acjc isn't a wise choice...aiya nw i regret lagging thru prelims. Life's juz so darn sian nwadays...
12/12/05 03:58
12/12/05
05/12/05
Ok, been damn long since i last wrote to u guys, sorry for the delay but its been a damn busy 2 n a 1/2 wks. Now im at a calm point, no idea wat to do next...
Mayb i shld give a summary of the past 2 wks first, before i start on anything else. Errr...took a few kayak courses, its surprisingly hard to paddle in a straight line, but anw still gt the 1-star cert, more by tyco than anything.
Baked cookies wif pb at ly's house, he totally killed my appetite wif his shit-coloured cookies. he accidentally melted the chocolate chips in the batter to give the cookies a nice shade of BROWN and the texture of SHIT. Den frm 22-24 nov was the 4c chalet, it totally ROCKED. Din get much slp, so memories are pretty blurred by 24-hr nonstop gaming n arcading n lagging. Wun go into details of the chalet(too many to recount properly), suffice to say i'm astounded jinghao's xbox din overheat n go up in flames.
Ok, the friday after that was spent lagging at home on bnet and getting a quick haircut, basically just taking time off frm life. Saturday sucked, mainly cos kayak was killer; the coach paddled us all the way out to shear's bridge and we did mass capsize in the middle of the blardy kallang basin. High point of that day was signing up for broadband at westmall in the nite.
Sunday was oh-so-fun, went out wif some 4c peeps to suntec n raffles hunting for gradnite outfits, i now realise i made a fatal error in going for an all-black outfit. N saw mrs look too, she wears exactly the same toadish clothes as when she's in RV.
Monday was pretty ok, i tink i spent mostof the day at home, dun really rmb much of tt day tho. AMNESIA?!
TUESDAY=GRADNITE.
I guess it was quite fun, at least no LINE DANCING. The food rocked, took a few photos wif assrted pple, most of all wif...=P
Wednesday n thursday passed in a haze of blurness, i haf totally no idea wat i did those 2 days wtf. Amnesia worsens.
Clealy rmb gg out wif 4c peeps on fridae, LAN at limbang as per 4c tradition. After tt went for movie wif ly, watched SAW2. GORY, VIOLENT AND BOLIAO, but strangely philosophical too, if u can believe tt a psychopath actually taught me the cure to cancer.
Saturday went out wif comclub n ex-PEPS pple, soccer at LamSoon CC, LiYuan went off to newzealand tt day. It still scares me tt i may nv c him again, even tho i nv did become frens, he's still an RVian, somonje i knew/know, and now i may nv meet him again. Like missing a toe or smth.
Sunday was screwy, pissed off by dear cousin and anw tired out by soccer on saturday, plus guilty at pangsehing ly all alone at home.
Ah, finally reached 2dae. Went out all day wif 2ace guys, soccer n pool n arcade n abit of lan n lunch n thrashed yalams. End of story.
Now sianning away, ly's off to haf dinner wif her aussie grandmum, hu's pbly a cattle rancher or smth. House is damn quiet, mom n dad off to JB on a romantic escapade, nothing to watch on TV. Omg i sound so pathetic... (-.-)
And as usual, without smth to occupy me i tend to start worrying abt the future, the dark n uncertain one tt lurks, juz biding its time till it can devour me whole. Gotta find smth to do, live e gd life n take my mind off everything. I'm nt gonna get myself stuck in the same rut i fell into b4 Os, worrying n worrying till i gt so depressed n sianned n demoralised i cldnt mug at all. Time for action, but i cant seem to find anything to do. Zzz...desperately need to haf fun...
Ah heck, im gonna go game till 10pm, keep my mind off anything n everything. Cyaz pple.
05/12/05 11:27
05/12/05
03/11/05
dammit my internet is soo damn laggy 2dae i bet its in bullettime. Had to reload THIS damn page 3 times, cos the boxes din appear in the first 2 times. FUK the idiot hu invented dialup.
So, nw that i;m done ranting, i can blog. Yay!
Erm so i;m supposed to write up a philosophcial n3. For the sake of displaying my mature thought =P.
Ok. 2 things pple shld care about : ninjo and giri. Ninjo is emotion, giri is duty. And dun ask me how i noe, i rmb reading this in a military novel. Before making a bid decision, or a choice that u feel is important, always ask yourself 3 questions. 1: what is my ninjo (feeling(s))?. 2: what is my giri (duty)? 3: do they contradict? Always ensure giri and ninjo do not contradict.
Ninjo is what makes you human. Be it sadness, happiness, or stress, feelings grant strength, inspiration, and sometimes pain. Either way, ninjo is a part of who we are and how we see things. A sad man may gaze upon a rose and see the thorns; a happy man will see the red rose flower. Ninjo drives us. Angry people punch, sad people cry, happy people laugh... Ninjo is a reflection of your will.
Giri guides our actions. Our actions are always meant to serve a purpose. Giri is YOUR purpose. YOUR duty to oneself, to one's frens and family, etcetc. And while duty to whom might not be important, duty to your own hopes and dreams certainly matter. And while giri is always clear, its hard to do what must be done to fulfill that giri.
Combine both ninjo, the will to do things, and giri, the things that need be done, to achieve ken. Spirit. Ninjo cannot contradict giri, or the spirit will have no will; nor can giri be unclear, for actions without direction will never achieve anything. Ninjo must be one and the same; to attain one end alone. Alone they are nothing; and when together, everything.
Thoroughly relevant to the world. Adults have their ninjo and giri lying in opposite directions.Ninjo to enjoy thier life; giri to earn money to live. And as my parents continously tell me, earning money is never enjoyable.
03/11/05 11:14
03/11/05
31/10/05
oh bahhhhhh. wanna kill myself after hcl 2dae. Absolute horror plus fragfest, with hcl completely trashing my nooby hcl ass. NONE of the words i paid special attention to came out. Instead a whole lot of useless sec1 n sec1 words popped up n caught me off guard. Had to tikam most of thw words, and zaoju was little different. Juz kill me.
Anw i was gg to to philosophical in this entry, but way too sianned to get myself more sianned. Needless to say yet more mugging to do later, what with emath n SS a mere one week away.
Oh yeah i came up with a rather good plan for naix n mic, if i do say so myself. My GREAT plan is to be held during the chalet, if naix gives his permission and his blessing. First, we convince sot or some other mic-related 4cian to msg mic to get her to go to some ulu palm tree on the beach. Den, by accident of course, naix meetsmic at the ulu palm tree, Den, by happy coincidence again, naix tells mic he likes her and mic spills the beans that she's liked naix since sec3. And they go home happily ever after!
But nooo, cold, cynical naix violently ovbjected to this plan, going as far as calling it a "piece of shit! shut the f**k up!". That guy has got to learn etiquette, i tell you. But i do get the point about shutting up, so i took the rejection calmly and acquisienced to his decision to handle things himself.
What a friend i am.
Choo doesn't think naix will confess. I think he will. Naix says he will. But with naix, who can tell what really happens in the end?
31/10/05 07:32
31/10/05
27/10/05
Ok was a pretty fun day out in sch, not counting depression in the lockup-session and morning. Strangely euphoric yet again, must be the 3 M&M Mini sticks i polished off in lockup. The healing powers of chocolates.
During lockup my feelings oscillated between depression, sianness (fine line there) and humoured. For all those lokking to cheer up, i strongly suggest avoiding all amath papers till ur feeling confident n brave enough to submit to the torture of wrestling with relative velocity. Elgin, shuming and chooqi all had a crack at the ACS relative velocity killer qn, which was about a bloody stupid tiger chasing a deer, and all of them ended up sianned an depressed, elgin blaming himself for not finding the solution, chooqi giving the typical "aiya tired la dun do", and shuming blaming the tiger, question phrasing and deer :" Who cares la??? And y can't the tiger start from the origin point? And the deer died in the end wat so y bother how far they were at the start???!!". Helpful study partners i had. Better than the rest of the guys at least, whose topics of conversation vacillated between choosing jc, thiammie's chances wif mic, and shuming's oldstandby, wanjoo-themed jokes. Like "yihong, wats your fav day of the year? 31 june! cos gt 30 WANJOOOOO!!!!" and finishes with typical shuming grin. But cheered me up juz listening to lame jokes and shuming's insistence he has big privates. Oh yeah n shuming n ivan conspired to buy ALL the food brought up and sell it for a a profit, or alternatively, the prospective buyer has to kiss shuming. TT guy need professional counselling, i tell u.
And at the MRT we say sf lookign lost n lonely at the escalators, and yet the first thing she said to me was "oi yihong leeyang veli lonely leh she at the end of the station." Haha n i retorted "Peckboon shld be coming u soon haf FUN!" and did my best sarca face. So tried sneaking away from the guys to go keep ly company, but prominent height gave me away, esp to jh who went into stealth-walk mode and semijogged to the end, triumphantly declaring "AHA! Caught in the act!" Lol but ly was damn sianned by the looks of all the attention.
And at JE elgin kept harassing me abt leeyang, making snide remarks like "eh yihong leeyang nt here, u make her tired last nite ar?" And the guy is supposed to be BUDDHIST dammit. BUT he drew a gd comparison wif me n thiam: I confessed n suceeded, while thiam has yet to. If even elgin noes abt me n ly, it certainly goes to show our scandal has been talked to death alrdy. So its official now, no more hiding in the dark yay! And thima ran into a spot of trble while buying his Jap food. Mic wwas in the shop, so he suddenly went into evasive maneuvers and tried to drag me away from the shop when he say mic. Like an obvious. And when he realised my centre-of-grav was damn stable he abandoned all pretense of boldness and sprinted away to Mac, to much applause form the gals there. At least vic din c it firsthand. but still...thiammie has got to work on taking pressure la. Go thiam go!
Haha shall end of here, was a pretty fun day, like i said. Mood swings again lol. Cya!
27/10/05 08:53
27/10/05
26/10/05
Completely stunned 2dae when pb said he was going to organise a "food outing" for the hols, hopefully he's juz joking. His idea of this "fun and exciting" outing is to invite 20frens along wif him, and for an entire day journey around S'pore sampling the local cuisine. Among other things, he lists "char kway teow" and "al of us can share one plate of prawn mee...like 20cents each only! And we can enjoy the great tasty food!". Dudiao=ed at home, shame noone cld see my ace at that moment.
Thiammie called up as well, or i called thiammie...bah the impt thing is tt hope for his dream gal is rekindled, apparently cos mingming called up to clarify her interpretation of thiammie's chances wif getting his dream gal. So happily spent the calltime deludinghim and boosting his morale. Am i a great fren or wat?
Was seriously sianned in the morn due to too much phy revision and leftover depression from last nite, strangely euphoric now though. Hope its not cos i'm in a suicidal mood or smth, but with my mood swinging like mad, who can tell?
Oh yeah n pb's really going all out to get sf. Scrapping his earring plan due to the unfortunate circumstance of sf nt having earholes, he's put out a call for aid to all dance/ex-2k frens to provide him wif a comprehensive list of sf's likes and dislikes. Absolute maximum effort in getting the perfect gift, one would almost get the impression he's going to propose.
Romance is in the air. Cya!
26/10/05 08:28
26/10/05
25/10/05
Pretty gd start to the day 2dae. Had a easy chem prac in the morn, which i ended spectacularly by spilling NaOH all over the tabletop so that by the end of the prac the ENTIRE side of my tabletop was SOAPY. Gd grief when i tried to wipe the NaOH off it was like a blody oil spill. Greased apparatus all over.
Den went into lockup. Did a chem ppr, a little chem mugging n lots of sianning. Been sianning waaay too much lately. Lots of stuff on my mind perhaps. At the end of the whole lockup, when we all were evacuating the Band Room, shuming, or victor, really incensed me. Shuming sidled up to me in traditional laggy way, looked me straight in the eye, and said "Yihong ah, peeking at leeyang's underwear ah...". I swear everything i saw turned red for a moment, then slowly replied "Who said that" "Victor say one, he say u keep looking at the floor in front of leeyang's skirt [sickly smile]" . Dammit for a moment i wanted to sock him in the gut, but the tide of students flowing out pulled me away.
Then late, on the way home, leeyang tagged along with us guys to go to west mall for our traditional post-exam burgerking feast. And victor was smirking all along the way. I'd have given anything to bash that smirk off his scandalous face. Dammit. Given all that there was leeyang breaking some pretty depressing news to thiammie concerning his grand designs. And it rained. Joyous day it was.
VICTOR. Is every rumour started by him? EVERYTIMits he who starts the rumours, tho other rumour queens like yingjie will help out.
ZZZ perfect day la. What with victor happily rumouring about my reported flirtiness and fictional peeping-tom behaviour, i'm fully ready to nuke his boonlay residence if i had a nuke silo and GPS coordinates. Top that off with my worry about some j2 guy going for a 1on1 lunch wif leeyang and wondering wat the hell he's up to, but not allowing my own paranoia spoil her day out, and omnipresent stress taking its toll, i'm waaay too sianned to do anything but lag and try not to think about anything at all.
As usual i'll get over it. But that might take a while.
25/10/05 09:50
25/10/05
23/10/05
I have no idea y i'm so down 2dae. According to 2dae's SundayTimes horoscope, i'm inclined to be enraged due to an argument, and i'll be feeling like the world turned its back on me, watever that means.
Bleargh got at at 8am, did hcl sec3 till 1, den proceeded to do only half of sec4 rite up till now. With a short break in between la, i'm not a mugging machine. And got depressed halfway thru when ly said she din mug hcl till the last 2 days but still got a a2, which reduced me to siansation cos i mugged hcl twice before the prelims n ended up wif my usual c5.
It seems tha effort doesn't relate to good grades anymore. Used to think i had to mug to get good grades, yet now in confuson cos i DIN get good grades even when i mugged.
So where does the fault lie? In my mugging style, which is to do n redo every topic n lag on the day b4 exams, going to sleep at 10 instead of mugging till 2? Or is it that i prefer to memorise instead of doing papers?
Or that i'm juz stupid?
I don't mind losing a challenge when both me n my competitior put in their best. I hate it when someone bests me without even trying, cos then i'll noe tt i haven't tried my best.
Or is it tt i've tried my best, and my best juz isn't good enough?
Having lost to lee-the-lag in prelims, i've been forced, again, to consider if i've lost because i didn't try harder than her to score, or if i lost because even though i DID put in my best, it still isn't the equal of someone who didn't even TRY their best.
I thot i laid these questions to rest after the prelims. It seems they are determined to haunt me till i find the answer.
I dun mind failing. I HATE it when i dunno why i failed.
So juz why did i fail??
23/10/05 09:29
23/10/05
21/10/05
dunno y dis n3 din come out rite, heck i dowanna type all over again.
Got a new skin, enjoy.
21/10/05 05:21
21/10/05
20/10/05
...to the end of Os, according to my hp's calender function. I'm hoping it'll pass quickly, cos there's no bloody way i can handle 28 days of mugging.
Had gr8 fun yesterday at the school grad/prize-giving thingy, strangely happy at the end of the ceremony and unaffected by the mass outbreak of weeping that swept thru the sec4 gals. Elgin, bless him, couldn't take the pain of leaving rv n shed a few tears. And kiat of all people came to comfort him, with the typical promises of mapling marathons after he Os, the darn addict. And of course elgin had to ruin the whole sentimental thing by having a one-on-one chat wif ginger over a chinese compre exercise.
Then went for lan gaming at queensway, accompanied by chooqi n yx. Grudge match pitted me n ly against thiammie n his goon pb, where we spectacularly snatched victory from the jaws of defeat by sneaking around to the rear of their forces and soloing the frozen throne. N ly cldn't kill naix ang even wif her divine rapier, instead relying on lothar's n 2 aegis to prevent the rapier from falling into naix's hands/claws. Made history by being the only dota player to have been killed 6 times yet not dropped a +250 dmg superweapon.
So we left at 4pm, after feeling guilty for gaming 3 straight hours (which wouldn't stop us from gaming yet another hour later), and all the way to marinabay naix cldn't stop bitching about how impossible it was for his invincible naix to lose and how unfair it was i used levi and how he wanted to go home n cry and blahblahblah. N trying to blame me n ly's victory on an unfair advantage he n pb din haf--the power of love wtf! Korean-style romance alert!
Lagged around at the marinabay mrt till 530, where shuming turned up in his traditional garb of collared-tee n long pants. Either he's insecure about his leg hair or his mum refuses to allow him to wear shorts owning to his outrageous tendency of porno jokes. N of course naix was still bitching about the match and his ears turned the colour of a freshly-boiled lobster when vic asked if he wld confess ytd. Muahaha face the consequences la niax.
So took the van to the steamboat place (all by myself sobsob) where, in on the way, the rowdy guys at the back of the van kept spamming me about how i'd "missed by a little la..too bad". I of course refused to be annoyed and went along, saying "missed only a bit waddddd..." n deflected the attention to thiammie, hu was put under extreme duress, what wif vic n kiat's insistence he provide romantic entertainment by confessing at the steamboat.
Den lagged around at the steamboat place where i was viewed as some sort of culinary god by pinky n hejialing, possibly tempting ly's ire at not having a dedicated bf-chef all to herself. Spent the evening cooking assorted meats and being cooked by the oil spraying from the pan. And choo kept frying slabs of mysterious white meat, which he insisted was pig's bladder. The high point was the cholesterol-laced soup, with a healthy blend of inedible veggies (according to sf n her health expertise), enought carrot slices to overfeed a rabbit family, and 6 (!!!!!!!) eggs, which ly insisted counted only as 2 cos she ate 4 of them through dubious means which i didn't quite witness.
Went to the arcade with the guys, where everything shuming picked to play was broken down, and by some cosmic twist of fate i had a strange guilty feeling of leaving ly to amuse herself downstairs. So went back dwnstairs, to find she had hit the rock bottom of entertainment, boiling margarine and coke, and evaporating all the chicken stock in the pot.
So at her insistence went for a loong walk along the road, ostensibly to get some fresh air, but ended up happily holding hands in the deserted back alley we chose as our romantic hangout =P. Hurriedly disinterwined when we spotted the dota gang on the way back to the smoking steamboat cantre, and decided to tag along, but in the end got tempted into playing dota.
Hit beyond godlike while ly, pbly tired out by the romantic getaway, was a pale shadow of her hot form in the afternoon. I distinctly heard naix bitching more about how i pawned him 5 times at the end of our battle. Then we met up with the rest of the class, who only NOW decided to go/come to the arcade, and so me, ly chooqi n yx decided to call it a day n find our own way home. Tremendous amout of faith they placed in me, trusting me to find a bus bak to the mrt, which i of course did, more by luck than a good sense of direction.
Bid ly farewell...for the nxt 4 wks (sob)...on the train home, n had to slog home through the dark, creepy park, owning to parents both insisting they were too tired to pick me up. Unusually lag. But it was fun walking thru the park, providing a tempting target to yalam ambushers and backstabbing rapists.
It was only at home i realised the full effects of getting 11 for l1r5. Normally i'd give the sort of "ok la heck" reaction. not this time tho, wif my rs wif ly hanging in the balance. Worried till 1 about wat to do about the situation, and dad was unusually sensitive, providing plenty of encouragement for me to mug harder. thx dad! And i do rmb ly saying she onli put in 60% effort in her prelims. I shudder to think wat wld happen if she put in 100%. Not that u shld lag 4 Os, ly! 100% all e way, i'll catch up wif u after the PAE's over.
Fine. So i haf 28 days to make good my promises to parents, ly n myself that i wun get stuck in acjc, while RVians thrive n mature in NJ. And ly, dun ever come to ac juz cos of me. U earned ur way into rj/nj, n i wun ever take tt reward away. I'll mug harder than ever for Os. It's not a choice...i HAVE to get 7 for Os.
For my parent's hopes.
For my dreams.
For ly n me. =P
If i'm gonna mug at 100%, i'd better start now. Loves to all n miss ya alr ly!
20/10/05 08:49
20/10/05
17/10/05
whee bored to hell, thot i'd post lyrics.
All You Wanted – Michelle Branch
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried
To be like you
And I got
Swept away
I didn't know that
You were so cold and
You needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and
We figured out that
When the time comes
I'll take you away
[chorus]
If you want to
I can take you
I can take you
Away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was
somebody who cared
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have
To keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go
When you're gone
[chorus]
All you wanted was somebody who cared
If you need me you'll know I'll be there
[chorus]
This one's easier to intepret. But hu needs intepretation. It rocks the world. Period.
And lastly, to my 2a frens hu'll b reading this soon...
Rock ON!!
17/10/05 14:09
17/10/05
17/10/05
wa like a sianz. Dad watching weepy korean dramas while mum went out to westmall to 'buy stuff' n i'm left at home wif nothing to do.
HP charging, xbox is getting old, com has a strange new defect that prevents ALL games form being seen. All i get is a black screen when i try to play CnC. Tho pinball still works...but which self-respecting gamer will brag about his/her pinball hi-scores?
According to leeyang, every sec4 graduate-blogger will have to submit an entry on his/her past rv life. How distressing to note that my sec1 rv life is blurred by poor memory and my sec3 life too laggy to be remembered in terms of days. All i get when i try to recall these memories is a big blank patch of existence.
My entertainment options have severly degraded to the following:
1)watch TV (ugh no shows worth my time)
2)watch a dvd/vcd (bleargh all seen before except for sappy chinese dramas)
3)hang aroung on msn and hope someone talks to me (the damn maplers aren't interested in human interaction, just lvling their damn characters)
4)listening to radio (will fall asleep doing that)
5)read a book (ALL READ A DOZEN TIMES OVER)
6)mug (...erm...entertainment hit rock bottom)
Good grief i miss school. At least i dun haf pathetic entertainment choices there. Nontop crapping wif peckboon n chooqi bound to perk me up anyday.
Strangely i realised i changed alot this year. Last year i was all happy, optimistic, and an all-around idealist. I remember being disgusted by the slacky, caustic, and selfish attitudes of some 4c (then 3c) guys. And preferring my ex-2a gang cos they were the total opposite of competitive, agressive 4c.
I just couldn't fit into 3c. Everywhere i turned i found something i couldn't stand, be it nonstop prank-playing or act-cool attitudes. And i guess i tried to change somethings i couldn't stand, tried to set an example for the guys to follow, to try to at least get them to question their own attitudes.
This year was strangely similiar, yet i found i had no problem fitting into the gang. I'm not sure when it started happening, when i accepted the guys for what they were and stopped trying to change them to suit me... i think it was around june that my whole outlook to life changed. I attribute this change in values on the "2 betrayals" i went thru, the sh fiasco n the pants-pulling incident.
The sh fiasco taught me accpetance--i had to get over the embarrassment and bitterness at rejection, and accept that watever immature dreams i had of sh liking me were plain CRAP. it took me 3 months to do tt. 3 months of beating myself up and wondering what i had done wrong. 3 wasted months of anger and resentment. And all that while i refused to let go of my hopes that sh n i would get back together. I finally did, but not before a lot of self-reflection and plenty of help from frens. Moral of the story: let go of what has already been lost.
Gab's humiliating me deeply confused me, for i had thought gabriel a good and trusted friend. It hurt to be humiliated-- it hurt so much more to know i had misplaced my trust in gab. Moral: One can ALWAYS be betrayed. But while i can live wif being betrayed, can they live wif the knowledge that they betrayed the trust i placed in them?
Put these 2 truths together, and i found my new worldview.
+I learned to worry about only what i fear to lose
1)family
2)frens
3)hope
4)leeyang
and to heck all else, for their loss means nothing to me.
+Trust must be earned, not given. If u want to have my trust, earn it, don't wait for me to give it to you. When i DO place my trust in you, you'll know i fear no betrayals from you, and that i fear to lose you. And similarly, i'll earn what trust you place in me. It's only fair, after all.
Hah plenty of deep thought, or so it seems anyway. And i found a nice poem.
Dreams grant sight
To hopes gone cold
Visions unfold
Purified in soul
2 days to graduation! Cyaz..
17/10/05 10:22
17/10/05
14/10/05
walan how time flies. Was thinking i got one last day of sch to go thru 2dae, n before u noe it it's over n u've completed 4 years of clazroom learning. Juz like tt. It juz stops, wif no aplomb, no drama, no crying and tearful goodbyes to teachers.
I suppose it takes a while for the gravity of graduation to sink in, but its juz...sudden. Like you've seen the end of the road but still shocked to come to the end of it.
No tears yet, but we shall see come wednesday.
14/10/05 14:03
14/10/05
13/10/05
Juz got the damn lyrics for the song tt continues to rox my sox since yesterday.
Yeah
That's like that
{chorus}
I guess
that this is where we've come to
if you don't want to
then you don't have to believe me
but i
will be there when you go down
just so you now
you're on your own now believe me
I don't wanna be the one to blame
you like fun and games
keep playin' them
i'm just saying
think back then
we was like one and the same
on the right track
but i was on the wrong train
it's like that
now you gotta face the pain
and the devil's got a fresh new place to play
in your brain like a mage you can never escape your brain
every damn day is a same shade of grey
Hey
i used to have a lil' bit of a plan
used to have a concept of where i stand
but that concept slipped right out my hand
and now i don't really even know who i am
yo what do i have to say
maybe i should do what i have to do to break free
whatever happens to you
we'll see
but it's not going to happen with me
{chorus}
Back then i thought you were just like me
somebody who could see all the pain i see
but you proved to me unintentionally
that you would self-destruct
eventually
now i'm faking like the mistake i made doesn't hurt
but it's not gonna work
cos it's really much worse than i thought
i wished that you're something you were not
and now this guilt is really all that i've got
Uh
you turned your back and walked away
the shame
all you've got is a memory of pain
nothing makes sense
you can star at the ground
and hear my voice in your head when no-one else is around
so what do i have to say
maybe i should do what i have to do to break free
whatever happens to you we'll see
but it's not gonna happen with me
not gonna happen
{chorus}
yeah
go
{chorus}
do what i have to do
the mp3 is 8 mb(!!!!!) big. and i downloaded the damn thing on a dialup. Suddenly feel i have an aura that speeds downloading lol.
The song reminds me of my sh fiasco, except i wouldn't go so far as to promise revenge. And totally nothing to do with the current state of my lovelife, if you're wondering.
tomorrow's the last day of formal school...the last day of my life as a secsch student. And i still haven't figured out if i'll be glad or sad to put my past 4 years behind me and move on. And i'm happy to let it stay that way for now. Let that battle be fought some other time.
And joel wants a more varied lovelife for me n leeyang. Since when did he become 4c's resident love doctor.
sianzzzzzzzz bak to mugging.
13/10/05 09:26
13/10/05
12/10/05
First time ponning sch 2ade, mainly inspired by the slacky attitudes of thaimmie n leeyang. Lagy aura is pervading my house. Even my mom hit the sack straight after coming home, instead of her usual mark-till-9pm-stop-only-to-buy-dinner routine. Muz be the cool weather.
Current hot topics
1)Conspiracy by french/british/german terrorists to freeze unsuspecting library-goers to death by blasting cold air out of the aircon ducts, aiming for unsuspecting RVians mostly. Due to their high lvl of training, leeyang n i often find icecubes where our water bottles used to be after library visits.
2)Me n leeyang. Mainly sparked by CERTAIN bigmouths in our claz. Possibly jinghao, slight possibility of joel, massive probabilty that victor is behind the current rumours. Sadly, i'm not in school today to bask in the attention bestowed upon me by my new scandal. How sad i am muahahaha.
3)Moderation. Since i'm nt in sch, can only speculate wat ms ek told the sch abt in assembly 2dae. Prelimary interrogations of peckboon n kaikiat prove frustratingly detail-less. Modmodmod.
4)MAPLE. Curse maple to the lowest levels of hell. EVERY SINGLE PERSON ONLINE while i m writing dis is playing the damn game. Has online entertainment finally hit rock bottom?????
Desperately hoping to be modded to 8 pts, where i can get into njc (hopefully again). And after tt hoping to qualify for njc kayak cca, and get into the jc team (hopefully). How optimistic.
Incredibly 98.7 has started playing good music again. An absolutely awesome track by Fort Minor was reportedly heard on air just now at 2pm. Listeners are in shock that such great tunes were heard, on 98.7 no less.
12/10/05 09:27
12/10/05
12/10/05
(con’t)
While i'm online, might as well take stock of the pile of homework lying dormant on my table.
1.Nanyang Girls High chem -->DONE
2.Physics 2002+2001 tys -->DONE
3.SS N.Korea SBQ (pt form) -->NOT DONE
4.EL compo -->HECK
5.EL compre ->HECK
6.HCL summary exercise -->HECK HECK HECK
Disturbing trend shows that languages are more often overlooked and hecked than sciences, with humanities taking medium priority. Wonder y ms Chan n Jiang dun do anything about it lol.
I can't believe i'm looking forward to the Os. Perhaps i'm looking forward to the END of the damned onslaught of papers. Anyways have compiled a list of tentative ideas i have in mind for Decembr activities.
1. Kayaking
2. Kendo
3. Resume piano!!!
4. SOCCER!!!
5. Dates wif leeyang =P
Haha gtg bak to phy revision, be bak soon!
12/10/05 09:19
12/10/05
09/10/05
Actually nothing to blog about 2dae, cos mostly been doing, like, 3 hrs of chem revision topped wif 2 hrs of amth revision, so pretty much brain dead at the moment.
Pretty much sianed by the fact that there are still approximately, hmmm, 39-42 days till the end of the Os, i have resorted to blogs to perk up. N i'm still using a damn dialup can u believe it.
Dota used to dominate my life, taking up 2 hrs a day. Before that was Halo2, before THAT was CS, before THAT was...dunno, Command n Conquer?
Now am faced wif the fact that having gone cold turkey on all com games, i am left with a lot of time to fill up. 3hrs a day used to be set aside for lagging away "relaxing" as i so often tell my parents. " A growing, maturing teen needs his fair share of time to do nothing at all." was the common excuse i gave.
Now that i stopped all piano lessons to study for the Os, i have recycled roughly 3 hrs of my weekly piano time, alowing me to reuse that time to do something i deem worthwhile.
Now that i have stopped all after-school soccer matches and started to scrape off lessons in school to do homework, alowing me to relax even more at home, i should be happy, rite?
WRONG. Now i have to contend wif hordes of revision papers set by fanatical and overworked tchrs (reminds me of PSLE, but back then the tchrs din go thru the pprs), wif mom's insane amath jihads, and hcl remedial and revison and finding time to relax as well.
With fewer commitments at home, y am i getting more stressed?
To top it off my dad's going mad. Now merrily doing nothing at home for 2 months and counting, he spends his time wandering around Orchard Road, watching the increasingly depressing news on hurricanes and earthquakes and bomb blasts, and taking intense notice in what evary member of the family does. Sometimes i wish for a sibling to help divert attention away from me, for an older brother to set an example of dating to my parents (and offer helpful tips to me), and a younger sibling to scream n squeal "I want BROADBAND!!!" and "I want HANDPHONE" all day till this household finally catches up to the information age.
But sadly, i am outvoted 2-1 everytime i ask if i can get a new handphone plan, if i can get broadband, if i may go out to hang around at westmall all day and come home at 10 in the nite.
Tis a joy not having a sibling (no annoying sibling rivalry), but sure as hell annoying not to have someone of the same age to back your request to your parents for a new this and a new that.
Can we adopt, please?
Life goes on.
Semper Vigilans
09/10/05 09:49
09/10/05
08/10/05
wanna put dis in to show tt no psychic pigs exist. Or if they do...they'll pbly die out as soon as possible.
08/10/05 12:37
08/10/05
08/10/05
I swear loch is follwing me arnd.
Everytime i go to the far side wif joel n chai he follows. Every recess break he waits 4 me to wrap up my work so he can go wif me to eat. Everytime i make a joke he laughs out REALLY loud. Every question i ask peckboon he answers.
I'm a loch magnet.
And then there's little thaimmie.
Caught in between the longing to tell _____ and his duty to MUG. 4 me...no contest. 4 him, it's a whole tournament of self-questioning and worrying and constant depression.
Thiam's little secret leaked out dis wk. The class is abuzz. Shihui yelled "______!" in Linda's lesson. U cld haf heard lamwan squek in the deathly silence tt followed her outburst. N to top if off thaim's years went form pink to BLOOD RED. Mayb a few shades below tt color, but still..
Nt my problem, but does he need help? Or is he silently biding his time? Or will the riumour-mongering of 4c ruin his dream?
To use a cliched phrase: Only time will tell.
And then there's my little scandal.
Ever since i was spotted at jp wif leeyang...its been claz
gals giving me scandalous looks, shihui whispering "leeyang!" to me in the mrt and then scurrying for cover...so on n so forth.
And the guys haven't even started their campaign of terror. They don't know...yet. If all goes well everyone will be merrily mugging at home by dis wkend, oblivious to my little scandal, and it shall STAY that way till i go to 4c chalet and come under fire for my little jaunt.
Lovely last week in store for me.
Are people SUPPOSED to feel perpetually cold? is t=hat u gabriel seems to say "F*** lar y so cold??!!" everywhere he sits in claz? Or is it a mysterious ailment that affects all hu diet?
And what does it mean if u eat onli HALF a plate of rice? Stomach shrinking? Stomach shrink means gullet shrink means mouth starts to shrink...means no mouth, no stomach, no gullet, juz lungs left?
The mysteries of the human body.
Dis is the last week of school.
Pbly a few things i would miss.
1) Toilet cleaners hu aren't ashamed to TALK to people hu are currently pissing
2)Schhol assistants hu never fail to say goodbye to students leaving via the side gate, giving male studnets the impression that a certian indian auntie takes an interest in them.
3)Little perks of life...like seeing 4b pple poke each other in the ribs. And trip other 4bians. And verbally abuse mr chan for failing to give them a1s for geog
4)Squeaky pple yelling "boris sedi...YAH" in the morning. perks u up to hear a not-past-puberty sec2 try to call a crowd of 1600++ students to stand at attention.
5)Idiotic sec1s playing cathcing during break...no chance to catch any fellow JC students scream at the top of their lungs and run around avoiding a player like he's got the plague
6)Friends. Need i say more?
7)EK. Like it or not it took guts to blast poor conduct as many times as she has. But being fat, she has plenty of cells to go anrd.
8) Teachers hu give a damn abt their students. Like Mrs chak, jiang, tanhuizhen...
Thx 4 being there.
So wats up wif th last week of school? Are there gg to be floods of tears cried, great songs of brotherhood and sisterhood and teachers giving emotional speeches of wat angels we are?
Or mugging?
Likely mugging.
Will i miss rv, u ask me?
Of course i'll miss rv. And the chance to c my frens everyday. And occasional glances of leeyang.
But i wun cry, i hope, the day i leave the school i studied, played, lagged, fought and joked in for the past 4 years.
The guy image thing again. No getting emotional, no talking in a ladylike fashion, no talking to girls etc. No crying in public most importantly.
Maybe i'll cry at home.
Damn i miss school already.
08/10/05 12:34
08/10/05
03/10/05
Nuts. Playig 2 games of 1hr full-time soccer in 2 days. Wil collapse from muscle exhaution at dis rate.
2dae played wif 4d (prc clz but still damn hiong game), drew 2-2 at full time. But we won on penalties lol? So counted anot? Feels like cheating a bit leh...
Bah sshist din get a2 yet..some pple get their scripts back 2dae n find up to 4 marks added! But sadly i onli gt 2 markd added so i'm stuck at a damn B3 sianzzzzzz. Bloody hell hope dis marks-adding is not a moderation exercise.
Heck. l1r5 looks set to blow. N due to overuse of sms on my hp the bil shld hit $50++ dis mnth. My parents will haf my blood. N Os r creeping up on me. 3 wks left to the big crunch n here i m laggin lalala.
Damn i miss the good old laggy days of sec1-3. Now looking back...those little exams at end-of-year r the equilivilent of sec4 common tests. Too bad i din treasure those carefree days lol.
Bah i'm getting nostalgic. N i still gt geog revision 2 do 2nite.
Cya soon
03/10/05 11:30
03/10/05
02/10/05
No time 4 long stories 2dae so i'll cut it short
It's 2 oct...officially abt 3 wks to the BIG Os n i'm still lagging. N slacking. N crapping. N all the brainless activities in between these 3. For goodness sake i even haf 2 soccer matches coming up n a movie outing planned.
If pre-Os is dis lag alr, i'd hate to c post-Os slacking.
N i'm still gg out 2nite to visit grandparents, n tml play soccer (twice...cos gt PE n den clz match wif 4d). N i'm ahead of homework, n yet not putting in my all for revision.
I tried to stdy geog 2dae..really!! But my spirit juz wasn't there, it was outside playing soccer under the bright blue sky and suntanning away while my body rotted in front of my geog notes.
N i'm still wondering if my Olvls will be as 'good' as my prelims. Cos prelims alr damn improved frm my midyrs. N if i dun buc up n improve SOMEMORE i'll get run over by neighbourhood students soon (no offense). At dis rate i'll deprove not improve.
I haf to get bak into the study mood.
The qn is...how?
02/10/05 09:43
02/10/05
01/10/05
So i'm bak
Couple of differences from yesterday.
I have an L1R5 of 14 for prelims. TT's bad. Real bad. Better than most pple in clz...but bt my expectations. As usual. N lower than my helf-galfren's..whicj makes me feel somewhat down. She trashed me comprehensively, and is gunning for RJC...while i go 4 NJC...makes me feel like an absolute loser havng such a scuky l1r5. I CAN'T BE IN THE SAME JC AS HER AHHHH...
Then depression vanished, juz yesterday.
My gal's cute, bubbly, cool, chio, hip-as-heck, smart..all the things i wish i could be. N i've never got rid of the feeling that i'm not worthy of her, tt all i m is a loser trying to get close to a gal. It changed yesterday.
Me n my half-galfren (we like each other but school forbids open boy-gal relations) exchanged heart-to-heart views wif each other. She asked when n why i liked her. My reply went smth like dis "U're cool, hip as hell, bullby, n chio to boot". N i asked her if she wld mind being attached to a loser like me( not the exact wording but the basic idea is there). N she said 'No'. N i swear tt one word made me feel so damn GOOD.
N we chatted on n on abt our clz, about us, and about our future, and more, and More, and MORE, till we smsed form 6-12, wif occasional breaks thrown in. N it felt damn good to noe tt in spite of all my troubles, my suky grades n my un-cool life, someone out there reciprocrated what i felt for her. N it gave me this inner strength, of some sort, to do a mad rush for the Os, to get as good an L1r5 as her, and to battle my way to RJ thru hordes of elite students baying for my blood. N to prove that i will not accept defeat quietly, to give up and go to NJ, to be seperated form her and to not see her every day in JC.
And so here i stand, tall and proud, fortified by the knowledge that perhaps there is something in life worth striving for.
And that to give anything less than my best is worse than giving up.
01/10/05 14:26
01/10/05
30/09/05
4 all those pple out there reading dis, noe tt i m a terribly slack blogger. My last blog flame out after 2 entries. Sue me. N i'm nt gg to tell my life story thru my eyes either. Thru the eyes of an impersonal observer/watcher/stalker character/narrator view would be better. My style not yours MUAHAhaha...
Gah so wat's there 2 noe abt me. I'm a Singaporean. Human sometimes, sadistic n coldhearted at others. Singaporean bears special meaning cos its where i grew up. If i had grown un in say...africa...i mite b a whole different peron. Sorta maybe more atheletic, muscular, and less of a diehard academic-obssesed STUDENT.
I'm 16, abt 180-190 cm tall (cant rmb which). Mmm attending a "prestigious" secondary school, or at least as school propoganda wld haf u believe. I play soccer but i suk at goalie, n suck more at everything else, so basically there goes my soccerstar dreams.
I haf 2 classes i like lots, namely 2ace'03 and 4c'o5, both of which are chock-full of interesting( and wierd) people. Some strange reasoning makes me value 2a more than 4c, yet i can't tell wat seperates the 2 from each other. Sometimes it seems like 2a juz feels more like home than 4c...but it's another story.
I was in computer club, basically the least respected cca in my sch. The tchrs in charge r clack, the courses dull, and the attitude among members " Slack n heck". Of couse dis leads to a absolutely inefficient command structure where wat the HighCommand says is never carrried out by its followers. N i was a division head too. N i led my division to ruin. Hmmm i guess i feel sorta guilty abt my poor ldership ending a whole division n getting my division members shuttled off to other ulu alien division...my fault or the system's fault?
I guess my grades are average. I got into secsch on a average psle score of 250+(average 4 my sch anw...dunno abt neighbourhhod students), streamed into an average clz in sec2 streaming wif a (would u believe it) average grade, and been on the slightly less-than-average side of the clz ever since. Average all the way. This doesn't help my self-confidence btw. I try to set high standards, n constant less-than perfect grades tend to get me down more than once a month.
I am an aries starsign, so i guess i'm supposed to b fiery, blunt and thrill-seeking. This isn't reflected in my life at all. I live a dull, boring half-existence, if u call riding the emotional extremes of mugging and clz outings an existence. I m barely thrill seeking--my idea of a thrill is a good game of CS wif frens. So i'm unlike my starsign in most ways. I'm fiery tho...some other time i'll recall my past crises n u'll judge 4 urself.
I guess i juz started a lovelife? I've been msging dis gal in sch alot n we've bin gg out to the library after school to do hw 2gether...does tt count i wonder? N i confessed my like 4 her (blunt aries character at work), n i guess she reciprocrated? Anw we agreed to c where ot goes after the Os. Studies 1st as usual -.- the education system gets me down. haha but i like gg out wif her, even to small library visits.
So tt's abt me. N hu i m. My character intro mite take a bit more time...i guess i went thru a revolutionary year n changed a lot from my carefree 2004 year. 2 incidents in particular made me rethink my identity n my core values.Will recount them in 3rd person view as they're rather painful to revisit...even tho it's been a while since they happened.
Guess i'll get on wif this blog at some other time. Cyaz.
30/09/05 10:33
30/09/05
![http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/nazi/expatriate.jpg"></CENTER><BR><BR](http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/nazi/expatriate.jpg"></CENTER><BR><BR){kind=link}
